Fuck this. Seriously.
Fuck the world, fuck everything. Fuck our existence, fuck why we're here. Does it even matter? Why we're here? No, it doesn't. We should just fucking give up. Give up, looking for an answer. Seriously.
I mean - fuck the world, fuck everyone in it. No one really gives a shit, we're all leading everyone else down into the drain.
Fuck trust, fuck respect, fuck everything. Fuck the world.
Fuck the law, fuck the government. Fuck the Illuminati.
Fuck Socrates, fuck Chuck Palahniuk and Stephen King, fuck Slipknot.
Fuck everyone and everything, it doesn't fucking matter anymore - everything's a fucking lie, and everyone's a fucking hypocrite.
Fuck this blog, fuck your blog, fuck everyone else's blog.
Fuck technology, fuck spirituality, fuck karma, and fuck this all.
Fuck love, fuck fidelity, fuck information technology, fuck this all.
Fuck myspace, facebook, starbucks, iphones, and Paris Hilton.
Fuck your mocha latte, fuck tall and grande', fuck it all.
Fuck, this, shit.
Oh, and fuck my thoughts, opinions, and Fuck Me. I'm nothing more than a fucking pessimist that would love seeing everything going down in flames.
Jun 18, 2009
Jun 14, 2009
Nicotine.
It's funny how people lie. Specially people in charge, in control, people with power. Power is corrupting, Abraham Lincoln agreed. It's what got John F. Kennedy killed.
It's amazing, really, how they fed our brains with lies, at such an early stage. Childhood, to be precise. Science class, to be exact. Darwin's theory of evolution, to pin point.
Didn't force these ideas, but so cleverly programmed and fed them to us. And the human brain is only so sufficient, we need not question, right? We never do. No one ever does. It's the blindfolds that are strapped across our sight, before we can even open our mouths to protest. It's sheer genius, really.
My science book told me, Nicotine - most commonly found in cigarettes - is harmful to the body. Years after that, I find an article stating facts that no one is ever told. About how nicotine is actually an organic substance, commonly found in tomatoes, to be precise, and makes up our daily digestion process, and food intake. You don't say.
It's funny really, but I never quite got how anything that just naturally grows, sprouts out from under the dirt, could ever be harmful. Marijuana for instance. But let's put aside illegal drugs for a minute, and talk about the drugs that kill us, but are sold widely across the world. And ironically, Marijuana, that is proven to NOT be harmful at all (except for the THC which is easily filtered out via water pipes) is banned, illegal, and shunned from society. It's funny, really.
But here's the deal, right. Cigarettes equal big money. Economical growth, in fact. They've been making them and selling them for all these years, in a way, making money via the deaths of smokers all across the world. Think Iraq, but on a longer term.
Coming back to my argument, tomatoes actually contain nicotine. In FACT, Digest this:
I'm speechless. Now, one could argue, that facts such as these are not yet universally known. Not a lot of people know about things like this.
But then again; Why the fuck not?
My science book, was ages ago. Research such as this, was probably not done back then. Right? Marijuana was illegalized ages ago. Are you telling me it has changed over the years? Evolved maybe, right? Darwinized, correct?
Wrong.
There are only SEVEN people in the United States right now that can smoke Marijuana freely, wherever they want. Medical Marijuana, to be exact, but seriously - what difference does a name make?
Irv Rosenfeld's been smoking "Medical" Marijuana for 25 years of his life. He is alive, and well, and has been in the top shape for years. Watch his testimony here and Read all about him here.
He has no lung problems, his body works perfectly. In fact, he had a birth defect, concerning his bones (I'm not sure of the details but the links posted above has all the info covered) and Marijuana has been the only 'drug' that's helped him survive all these years. Fact. His body, after smoking Marijuana for 25 years, has been in way better shape, than the bodies of people that have smoked Cigarettes for, say, less than 15 years.
I just said cigarettes are bad, in an article I'm posting, claiming Nicotine to be unharmful. Well, here's some more facts.
Cigarettes contain MORE than 4000 chemicals in them. Which include Pesticides, Tar, Ammonia, Carbon Monoxide and Arsenic (rat poison), to name a few.
Is Nicotine Good For The Heart?
I'm just going to sum this up, by asking you to pray and hope with me - that mankind DOES actually evolve. Evolve, from the idiots that we have been. Hope with me, for a smarter future (which is hard to imagine, really, considering what we've put ourselves, and everyone else through, all these years.) And if that's not possible, let's hope mankind can survive with all this stupidity, caused by ignorance and the inability to even ask questions. Instead, we all follow - I hate to say it over and over - like Sheep.
Fear of finding out, and then bearing the responsibility? Is that even possible?
Crazier things have happened so far.
It's amazing, really, how they fed our brains with lies, at such an early stage. Childhood, to be precise. Science class, to be exact. Darwin's theory of evolution, to pin point.
Didn't force these ideas, but so cleverly programmed and fed them to us. And the human brain is only so sufficient, we need not question, right? We never do. No one ever does. It's the blindfolds that are strapped across our sight, before we can even open our mouths to protest. It's sheer genius, really.
My science book told me, Nicotine - most commonly found in cigarettes - is harmful to the body. Years after that, I find an article stating facts that no one is ever told. About how nicotine is actually an organic substance, commonly found in tomatoes, to be precise, and makes up our daily digestion process, and food intake. You don't say.
It's funny really, but I never quite got how anything that just naturally grows, sprouts out from under the dirt, could ever be harmful. Marijuana for instance. But let's put aside illegal drugs for a minute, and talk about the drugs that kill us, but are sold widely across the world. And ironically, Marijuana, that is proven to NOT be harmful at all (except for the THC which is easily filtered out via water pipes) is banned, illegal, and shunned from society. It's funny, really.
But here's the deal, right. Cigarettes equal big money. Economical growth, in fact. They've been making them and selling them for all these years, in a way, making money via the deaths of smokers all across the world. Think Iraq, but on a longer term.
Coming back to my argument, tomatoes actually contain nicotine. In FACT, Digest this:
"nicotine in its natural form is totally non-toxic. In fact, there is nicotine in tomatoes and potatoes and it is hence consumed every day.
There have been a number of research studies to test the effects of the natural nicotine as depression medication and the overall verdict is that it is indeed helpful in reversing depression successfully."
Fact: Nicotine is safe and non toxic
Fact – We consume it everyday
It’s present in many common foods such as potatoes, tomatoes chillies and tea
Fact – Nicotine is good for you.
It improves memory, concentration and mood, by influencing the neuro transmitters in the brain and is the subject of intense medical research, to treat diseases such as
Parkinson’s and Altzeimer’s Disease, depression and Attention disorders.
I'm speechless. Now, one could argue, that facts such as these are not yet universally known. Not a lot of people know about things like this.
But then again; Why the fuck not?
My science book, was ages ago. Research such as this, was probably not done back then. Right? Marijuana was illegalized ages ago. Are you telling me it has changed over the years? Evolved maybe, right? Darwinized, correct?
Wrong.
There are only SEVEN people in the United States right now that can smoke Marijuana freely, wherever they want. Medical Marijuana, to be exact, but seriously - what difference does a name make?
Irv Rosenfeld's been smoking "Medical" Marijuana for 25 years of his life. He is alive, and well, and has been in the top shape for years. Watch his testimony here and Read all about him here.
He has no lung problems, his body works perfectly. In fact, he had a birth defect, concerning his bones (I'm not sure of the details but the links posted above has all the info covered) and Marijuana has been the only 'drug' that's helped him survive all these years. Fact. His body, after smoking Marijuana for 25 years, has been in way better shape, than the bodies of people that have smoked Cigarettes for, say, less than 15 years.
I just said cigarettes are bad, in an article I'm posting, claiming Nicotine to be unharmful. Well, here's some more facts.
Cigarettes contain MORE than 4000 chemicals in them. Which include Pesticides, Tar, Ammonia, Carbon Monoxide and Arsenic (rat poison), to name a few.
Is Nicotine Good For The Heart?
I'm just going to sum this up, by asking you to pray and hope with me - that mankind DOES actually evolve. Evolve, from the idiots that we have been. Hope with me, for a smarter future (which is hard to imagine, really, considering what we've put ourselves, and everyone else through, all these years.) And if that's not possible, let's hope mankind can survive with all this stupidity, caused by ignorance and the inability to even ask questions. Instead, we all follow - I hate to say it over and over - like Sheep.
Fear of finding out, and then bearing the responsibility? Is that even possible?
Crazier things have happened so far.
Jun 13, 2009
Urban Definitions, anyone?
As I suffer from nicotine withdrawal syndrome (Anger, headache-ness, frustration at everything, unable to properly function), I feel like deviating my focus from that particular pain in the neck, to something ... well, else.
Bear in mind, my brain is NOT working properly at the moment. As I wait for some food, and ponder the whereabouts of my fucked up topyfying bastard friends, I surf urban definitions, and here I present them to you. Because of the sheer genius with which they were thought up. Am I making any sense, by the way? Because I can't tell.
chai anxiety
Feeling overwhelmed by the ridiculous number of options at the coffee shop.
Venti? Double soy-based foam? A shot of what? Yeesh I have chai anxiety -- I need some caffeine!
Caps Lock Voice
When a normally calm person has to raise their voice and use an authortative tone. It is the equivalent to using the caps lock key in the digital world.
Sara tried to get an attitude with me yesterday and I had to turn on my caps lock voice and put her in check.
Chris was being run over at work, so Jason told him it was time to turn on his caps lock voice.
Neighbornet
What you get when you connect to your neighbor's wireless (or wired, for that matter) internet, with or without his or her knowledge.
Didja hear? Johnny connected his wireless ethernet card to his neighbor's wireless network, and now he's got neighbornet!
missing link
A man who is covered head to toe with thick and wiry hair. He's so hairy, he's the missing link that connects humans to apes.
Life Password
The password that you use for every website, email account, facebook, twitter, everything. Having a 'life password' is not a good idea, but everyone does it.
Facebookemon
The term used for the collection of people, on your Facebook friends list, that you don’t actually talk to or know in real life. Related to popular tv program and game pokeamon, where the aim is to collect as many diffrent Pocket Monsters as possible.
Dave - "Hey, my friends collection is getting up to two hundred"
Steve - "How many do you really know? go admit it, most of them are Facebookemon"
John - "Gotta catch em all, gotta catch em all"
Social Notworking
The practice of spending time unproductively on social-networking websites, especially when one should be working.
Joe - Hey, Mark is constantly updating his Facebook status, does he not have any work to do?
John - His company obviously doesnt realise how much Social Notworking he is doing!
Bear in mind, my brain is NOT working properly at the moment. As I wait for some food, and ponder the whereabouts of my fucked up topyfying bastard friends, I surf urban definitions, and here I present them to you. Because of the sheer genius with which they were thought up. Am I making any sense, by the way? Because I can't tell.
chai anxiety
Feeling overwhelmed by the ridiculous number of options at the coffee shop.
Venti? Double soy-based foam? A shot of what? Yeesh I have chai anxiety -- I need some caffeine!
Caps Lock Voice
When a normally calm person has to raise their voice and use an authortative tone. It is the equivalent to using the caps lock key in the digital world.
Sara tried to get an attitude with me yesterday and I had to turn on my caps lock voice and put her in check.
Chris was being run over at work, so Jason told him it was time to turn on his caps lock voice.
Neighbornet
What you get when you connect to your neighbor's wireless (or wired, for that matter) internet, with or without his or her knowledge.
Didja hear? Johnny connected his wireless ethernet card to his neighbor's wireless network, and now he's got neighbornet!
missing link
A man who is covered head to toe with thick and wiry hair. He's so hairy, he's the missing link that connects humans to apes.
Life Password
The password that you use for every website, email account, facebook, twitter, everything. Having a 'life password' is not a good idea, but everyone does it.
Facebookemon
The term used for the collection of people, on your Facebook friends list, that you don’t actually talk to or know in real life. Related to popular tv program and game pokeamon, where the aim is to collect as many diffrent Pocket Monsters as possible.
Dave - "Hey, my friends collection is getting up to two hundred"
Steve - "How many do you really know? go admit it, most of them are Facebookemon"
John - "Gotta catch em all, gotta catch em all"
Social Notworking
The practice of spending time unproductively on social-networking websites, especially when one should be working.
Joe - Hey, Mark is constantly updating his Facebook status, does he not have any work to do?
John - His company obviously doesnt realise how much Social Notworking he is doing!
Jun 12, 2009
Lifeless
I never thought Riyadh would be so ... lifeless.
There is absolutely NOTHING to do in this country. Seriously.
Someone do something interesting =(
There is absolutely NOTHING to do in this country. Seriously.
Someone do something interesting =(
Jun 9, 2009
Tell me about?
You know what's hilarious?
Writer's block.
This book lays on the table as I write this, called "Tell me about?" And under the title, it says "Who was king of the franks?", "What is a pangolin?", "Can plants feel?"
"Answers to hundreds of questions."
This is probably why books say "Best Selling" and the list is called that too. It's never "Best Author" or "This book was on top of the New York's very well written list!"
Best Selling. Selling. And this book on my table had that potential - which prompted the publishers to warm up the printers.
But my question to you is - who gives a flying fuck about the king of the franks? The only franks I'm concerned with are the ones in between my hot dog bun.
Because I've realized, that information like that bears no fruits, has no use.
Because it's all about the green. Best selling, not best written. Do not forget.
Writer's block.
This book lays on the table as I write this, called "Tell me about?" And under the title, it says "Who was king of the franks?", "What is a pangolin?", "Can plants feel?"
"Answers to hundreds of questions."
This is probably why books say "Best Selling" and the list is called that too. It's never "Best Author" or "This book was on top of the New York's very well written list!"
Best Selling. Selling. And this book on my table had that potential - which prompted the publishers to warm up the printers.
But my question to you is - who gives a flying fuck about the king of the franks? The only franks I'm concerned with are the ones in between my hot dog bun.
Because I've realized, that information like that bears no fruits, has no use.
Because it's all about the green. Best selling, not best written. Do not forget.
Jun 8, 2009
Trying to make myself happy.
butterscotch. name, not the flavor.
cookie dough.
cookies and cream.
colors.
yellow, orange.
the sky.
blue.
more colors.
Colors we don't know of yet .. hmm .. are there? More colors that those, that we know of?
The sky. Clouds. Lots of grass. And infinite sky. 1:1 sky-grass ratio.
Water. Enough to drink, too little to drown in.
Music. Guitars.
Beautiful women.
Love.
Chocolate.
Sugar.
Soda.
Black.
Darkness.
Loneliness.
... definitely deviating ...
losing control of thoughts. definitely bipolar.
Chocolate milk - spilled on brother's laptop. Shit.
Focus. Let's get to "Fuck, Yes!" What's that? You shall find out.
cookie dough.
cookies and cream.
colors.
yellow, orange.
the sky.
blue.
more colors.
Colors we don't know of yet .. hmm .. are there? More colors that those, that we know of?
The sky. Clouds. Lots of grass. And infinite sky. 1:1 sky-grass ratio.
Water. Enough to drink, too little to drown in.
Music. Guitars.
Beautiful women.
Love.
Chocolate.
Sugar.
Soda.
Black.
Darkness.
Loneliness.
... definitely deviating ...
losing control of thoughts. definitely bipolar.
Chocolate milk - spilled on brother's laptop. Shit.
Focus. Let's get to "Fuck, Yes!" What's that? You shall find out.
Jun 4, 2009
I'm still alive.
"Is something wrong?" she said.
Of course, there is.
"You're still alive," she said.
Oh, and do I deserve to be? Is that the question? And if so, who answers?
Of course, there is.
"You're still alive," she said.
Oh, and do I deserve to be? Is that the question? And if so, who answers?
"I hope that girl hurts you more than I did," she said.
Compassion.
Saw someone else's blog today, which is rare, really, but Wijdan called it 'kinda funny' so I had to check it out.
There, I found this quiz, and since I love quizzes, I took it. Here's my result:
The funny thing is, I have a feeling I'm a little too compassionate. Too compassionate for my own good, in fact. Irony works that way, and karma is a myth.
There, I found this quiz, and since I love quizzes, I took it. Here's my result:
People Envy Your Compassion
You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.
People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.
The funny thing is, I have a feeling I'm a little too compassionate. Too compassionate for my own good, in fact. Irony works that way, and karma is a myth.
Jun 2, 2009
?
Experiment.
If you came and saw this post by yourself, please leave a comment WITH your name.
Thanks.
If you came and saw this post by yourself, please leave a comment WITH your name.
Thanks.
May 31, 2009
Back home!
It's amazing. Being back home after so long - I realize, I couldn't foresee just how much I really missed my family.
Everything tastes a lot better, it's weird. It's like being in love, I can't shake this smile off my face.
The luxury of getting food without doing anything, not having to do the dishes, or even iron your clothes.
Even though I knew I had to realize this, and would after being so far away from home for so long - it's still ...
I'm too blown away for words right now =)
Everything tastes a lot better, it's weird. It's like being in love, I can't shake this smile off my face.
The luxury of getting food without doing anything, not having to do the dishes, or even iron your clothes.
Even though I knew I had to realize this, and would after being so far away from home for so long - it's still ...
I'm too blown away for words right now =)
May 29, 2009
Twenty years after 1989.
This is not how I planned it, no. In my mind I thought I'd be at home right now, after some 'fun fun' with my friends and family.
But as fate would have it, I'm still in Philadelphia, with my bags packed neatly (because I refuse to open them until I reach home) and I just ate a piece of chocolate cake that tasted like crap. Oh, and I got it smothered on my face too, because somehow, even though I couldn't actually do anything about my ''birthday'' and didn't even have anyone around, my room-mate still found it funny to grab a handful and shove it on my face. Go figure.
So anyway, keeping with the tradition of my blog for years now, I'm going to write another post on the day I was born. Well, not exactly the day I was born, 20 years after that, but you know what I'm saying.
Foul mood or not, I'm still alive, right? And will hopefully stay this way for another fiddy or sixty years, right. Wonder if I'll still be writing a blog .. hmm ..
Anyhow.
What was funny about this year was, that everyone wished me on both the 28th and 29th (according to American time) because everyone called when it struck 12 wherever they were. How neat, no?
I reckon I'm way over my head for a 20 year old, I've probably been into and seen more shit than the average 30 year old does, and I'm glad. Live fast, die young. Or, more like, live fast, and try hard not to die young. And it's working so far.
Just because I'm so full of myself, and self-praise makes me feel better, let's take this in that direction. I'm happy, because a lot of people close to me have added to my wisdom. For example, my friends have taught me a lot of ways in which NOT to do things. I'll try to list some things here.
Sarmad has taught me how NOT to drive cars.
LALA has taught me how NOT to go crazy with alcohol.
Adeel has taught me how NOT to hit on girls.
Finky has taught me ... just never to trust him with my life.
Gibran has taught me how NOT to do anything at all.
BUT, my friends have also taught me a lot of things over the years.
LALA has taught me how to say Fuck All, and not give a shit.
Sarmad has taught me to get a bat signal on the roof of every building I ever live in.
Finky has taught me NEVER to sit in cars with him.
Adeel has taught me ... well, what bus takes you where in Philadelphia.
It's been one hell of a ride. In fact, when people say life is short? I have to wonder what they're talking about. Life is by far one of the longest things we ever get to experience. And it's been crazy, till this point, and I don't see it slowing down anytime soon. I love it.
I have to give a shout out to Nobia who I haven't been in contact for the longest while. Shout out to everyone else that I'll probably forget to give a shout out too, not because I'll probably forget, but because ..
I'd like to take this time to wish someone I knew once a Happy Birthday. And even though, a lot has changed since then. And I mean a LOT. This day will still be THE day I was born ... and that person was born ... and the reason we actually met, to begin with.
A year wiser, and still plain stupid. That's how I like to roll. Actually, the way I like to roll is with some Psychedelic shit in the background, and mixed with cigarette tobacco, but you know what I'm saying. Plain stupid, yes. Still not loving Po lees. Still got love, for the chocolate-y treats. Still poop, and sometimes pee.
I can so write rap songs. Can't touch this.
Ok, who else to thank ... ummm, I can probably thank a LOT of people for absolutely no reason like I did last year, but I'm not doing that shit anymore, no. The people that really made this year special, let's see.
Amina. You've fixed me, messed me up, fixed me, messed me up. I know you people, reading this, cursing me under your breath. Don't judge me, I made a stupid mistake, and I'm still going to make more in the future - voluntarily and/or involuntarily - go worry about your own mistakes. So anyway, Thanks for whatever you've given me, or taken away from me - because what didn't kill me only made me stronger. God as my witness.
Moving on ... how about Dagda, huh? I don't know if you're going to read this or not mate, but you kick butt. One day, I hope of being a smartass like you. Honestly. With your hypnosis and shit, dude, you kick butt.
How about his younger brother Saad "Diesel" Saquib. Asshole that he is, he once taught me a valuable lesson, and I still remember it to this day. It's been awesome, all this time I've known you and looked up to you. Until I found out your brother is way cooler, of course =p (go scare someone else with your evil.)
Sarmad. Asshole, I know he'll probably ask me why his name was just mentioned once. HERE. Chawal.
Wijdan - I never knew I'd find someone so similar to Sarmad. In fact, I was probably praying to God that I don't. But works in mysterious ways, He does. Found this carbon copy, I did. But it's all good, they kinda cancel each other out. Oh, and Wijdan does totally kick butt to the amount that Sarmad does. And kicking butt has always been at a high regard in my book.
I've learned a lot this year, I really have. Experienced and seen a lot, too. Compared to last year anyway. And even though I hate aging, I really do. Live forever, I wish I could. So much more left to learn, so much more I have to know, it's just crazy. So Thanks to everyone that's been with me since last year - everyone that hung on for the ride a year longer, and everyone that I met in the meanwhile. Because who am I kidding - one way or the other I bet everyone taught me how To or NOT to do something. Or maybe just brought me an inch closer to one of the many goals in my life - to understand people a little better.
I have to thank God up there, for making me so damn fit. Physically, Mentally, Kick-ass-ically. I mean, seriously. Oh, and also because, it's pretty much a miracle I'm sitting in Philadelphia typing this right now. I'm not dead, that's something too. I've gotten the best "schooling education" that I have in ages. Or probably ever since I was born, because the teachers and professors actually know more than what's in the book's they're holding. And no longer do I feel smarter than the person standing in front of the class. I'm glad, I feel like a huge weigh's been lifted off my chest, for some odd reason. I'm on the receiving end for once - I'm LEARNING in school. It's a miracle, not that I made it this far - fuck, I worked my ass off for this. It's a miracle, because I didn't really think Education ever had anything to do with schooling systems. I have been wronged. Weird.
But I maintain my objective, like Mark Twain said; Not to let my schooling get in the way of my education. And to continue selling ice to Eskimos. That's how it works, uh-huh. And I kick ass at it, so why not.
Furthermore, let me give a few shout outs to, let's see .. Fatimami. I didn't think I'd ever find, in a million years, someone worth talking to in a chatroom called "Desi Chat." You've proven me wrong too. I mean, seriously.
Maira, thanks for reading my blog for all this time, and spreading the word all the way to your uni in Karachi. Say hi to your 'class-mates' for me. =p
I just typed in the title for the post, and damn. I do NOT want to age anymore. 18 was where it was, man. I mean, I realize Age is just a number - but I fear the fact that no one else realizes that! Or do they? Because people all around me act dumb as shit, and never their own age, stupidity is at an all time rise, people fail to see beyond the cover of the book - it's crazy. And I'm just trying to see how to make that work for me ...
Salma, Salwa, Kanchan - shout out, because you've spread the word too. Thanks for being here, for wishing me a happy birthday, for being you, and ... yeah, that's about it. Thanks.
Sheeni. You're evil, and we all know that about now. How about turn it down a couple of notches, it's getting old, seriously. =p Still love you though!
Who else .. hmm .. Zule, you're an idiot. Anum, you're a bigger idiot.
My, this post has gotten long. And I still feel like I'm missing so many people.
Aah, how about the rest of the world? Thanks for giving me numerous reasons to HATE all the things that you do. Thanks for being stupid, at the most odd of times. Thanks for making no sense, for doing things so pointless, for being so much like SHEEP. Thanks for giving me things to Rant about, to show my anger and hate. For making me feel so much smarter, for making me realize, how lucky I am not to be eating grass like you are. For loving the iphone, thank you, idiots. For fueling the corporate machine. For NOT sticking it to the man, because you LOVE the man and don't even realize it. For being so STUPID and realizing it AFTER the war in Iraq. For, drinking out of your Grande' cups of Coffee, for chewing on donuts even if they taste like shit - but just for the sake of chewing on donuts. For thinking Kim Kardashian is hot, even though deep down inside we all know - you wouldn't want to be on the camera in a sex tape with her either. Off camera goes though, right?
For BUYING that tape. God dammit, there's not much to see in there that's not all over the internet already! Images.google.com, idiot.
For campers all over Call of Duty 5 online. Get a fucking life. If you're playing ONLY to win, then you're not winning anything other than the title of FUCKING RETARD.
For the people that judge people without wondering why they do, what they do. For judging strippers, whores, prostitutes, and porn stars, but not giving a flying fuck about what REALLY ticks in that teeny tiny head. Seriously. Psychology ftw.
For asking questions, demanding answers. Not just sitting back, and watching shit hit the fan. Please, people. ASK. FIGURE OUT, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. "WHY?" is in the dictionaries for a REASON.
For everyone reading this blog post right now. For everyone that's made my life miserable, for everyone that's made it amazing. For everyone' that's going to make my life miserable, and for everyone that's not planning it anytime soon.
Thank you. I love you, people. You fuel my engines, you give me shit to write about. Please, don't stop killing each other, writers have got to have something to write about, people need something to talk about. We can't have peace, without war =)
I feel like I'm diverting from my mission, deviating from my objective. How about a big round of applause to Life, huh? To Aging. To, Living!
To experiencing, to learning. To finding out, to getting our hearts broken, to falling in love. To, cheat, to lie, to be lied to, to be cheated to. To laugh, to cry, to experience joy and pain.
To be here on planet Earth, to have a mind that works (almost, for some people). To have a heart that's making blood work. For a Soul that most people fail to see or acknowledge.
I've just turned twenty, I have no clue what the fuck I've been writing about for half this blog post, and I'm pissed for no reason what-so-ever. So, let me exit while I'm still on top, eh?
As I was saying - you people Kick Ass. Not as much as me, of course, but you're trying, nonetheless. Keep at it.
Love each and everyone of you for being here! xoxo for all the females, and .. well, high-fives or some shit for the guys. Or maybe just like a wave, from a distance. You know like a .. like a nod or something.
- Danish Arif.
But as fate would have it, I'm still in Philadelphia, with my bags packed neatly (because I refuse to open them until I reach home) and I just ate a piece of chocolate cake that tasted like crap. Oh, and I got it smothered on my face too, because somehow, even though I couldn't actually do anything about my ''birthday'' and didn't even have anyone around, my room-mate still found it funny to grab a handful and shove it on my face. Go figure.
So anyway, keeping with the tradition of my blog for years now, I'm going to write another post on the day I was born. Well, not exactly the day I was born, 20 years after that, but you know what I'm saying.
Foul mood or not, I'm still alive, right? And will hopefully stay this way for another fiddy or sixty years, right. Wonder if I'll still be writing a blog .. hmm ..
Anyhow.
What was funny about this year was, that everyone wished me on both the 28th and 29th (according to American time) because everyone called when it struck 12 wherever they were. How neat, no?
I reckon I'm way over my head for a 20 year old, I've probably been into and seen more shit than the average 30 year old does, and I'm glad. Live fast, die young. Or, more like, live fast, and try hard not to die young. And it's working so far.
Just because I'm so full of myself, and self-praise makes me feel better, let's take this in that direction. I'm happy, because a lot of people close to me have added to my wisdom. For example, my friends have taught me a lot of ways in which NOT to do things. I'll try to list some things here.
Sarmad has taught me how NOT to drive cars.
LALA has taught me how NOT to go crazy with alcohol.
Adeel has taught me how NOT to hit on girls.
Finky has taught me ... just never to trust him with my life.
Gibran has taught me how NOT to do anything at all.
BUT, my friends have also taught me a lot of things over the years.
LALA has taught me how to say Fuck All, and not give a shit.
Sarmad has taught me to get a bat signal on the roof of every building I ever live in.
Finky has taught me NEVER to sit in cars with him.
Adeel has taught me ... well, what bus takes you where in Philadelphia.
It's been one hell of a ride. In fact, when people say life is short? I have to wonder what they're talking about. Life is by far one of the longest things we ever get to experience. And it's been crazy, till this point, and I don't see it slowing down anytime soon. I love it.
I have to give a shout out to Nobia who I haven't been in contact for the longest while. Shout out to everyone else that I'll probably forget to give a shout out too, not because I'll probably forget, but because ..
I'd like to take this time to wish someone I knew once a Happy Birthday. And even though, a lot has changed since then. And I mean a LOT. This day will still be THE day I was born ... and that person was born ... and the reason we actually met, to begin with.
A year wiser, and still plain stupid. That's how I like to roll. Actually, the way I like to roll is with some Psychedelic shit in the background, and mixed with cigarette tobacco, but you know what I'm saying. Plain stupid, yes. Still not loving Po lees. Still got love, for the chocolate-y treats. Still poop, and sometimes pee.
I can so write rap songs. Can't touch this.
Ok, who else to thank ... ummm, I can probably thank a LOT of people for absolutely no reason like I did last year, but I'm not doing that shit anymore, no. The people that really made this year special, let's see.
Amina. You've fixed me, messed me up, fixed me, messed me up. I know you people, reading this, cursing me under your breath. Don't judge me, I made a stupid mistake, and I'm still going to make more in the future - voluntarily and/or involuntarily - go worry about your own mistakes. So anyway, Thanks for whatever you've given me, or taken away from me - because what didn't kill me only made me stronger. God as my witness.
Moving on ... how about Dagda, huh? I don't know if you're going to read this or not mate, but you kick butt. One day, I hope of being a smartass like you. Honestly. With your hypnosis and shit, dude, you kick butt.
How about his younger brother Saad "Diesel" Saquib. Asshole that he is, he once taught me a valuable lesson, and I still remember it to this day. It's been awesome, all this time I've known you and looked up to you. Until I found out your brother is way cooler, of course =p (go scare someone else with your evil.)
Sarmad. Asshole, I know he'll probably ask me why his name was just mentioned once. HERE. Chawal.
Wijdan - I never knew I'd find someone so similar to Sarmad. In fact, I was probably praying to God that I don't. But works in mysterious ways, He does. Found this carbon copy, I did. But it's all good, they kinda cancel each other out. Oh, and Wijdan does totally kick butt to the amount that Sarmad does. And kicking butt has always been at a high regard in my book.
I've learned a lot this year, I really have. Experienced and seen a lot, too. Compared to last year anyway. And even though I hate aging, I really do. Live forever, I wish I could. So much more left to learn, so much more I have to know, it's just crazy. So Thanks to everyone that's been with me since last year - everyone that hung on for the ride a year longer, and everyone that I met in the meanwhile. Because who am I kidding - one way or the other I bet everyone taught me how To or NOT to do something. Or maybe just brought me an inch closer to one of the many goals in my life - to understand people a little better.
I have to thank God up there, for making me so damn fit. Physically, Mentally, Kick-ass-ically. I mean, seriously. Oh, and also because, it's pretty much a miracle I'm sitting in Philadelphia typing this right now. I'm not dead, that's something too. I've gotten the best "schooling education" that I have in ages. Or probably ever since I was born, because the teachers and professors actually know more than what's in the book's they're holding. And no longer do I feel smarter than the person standing in front of the class. I'm glad, I feel like a huge weigh's been lifted off my chest, for some odd reason. I'm on the receiving end for once - I'm LEARNING in school. It's a miracle, not that I made it this far - fuck, I worked my ass off for this. It's a miracle, because I didn't really think Education ever had anything to do with schooling systems. I have been wronged. Weird.
But I maintain my objective, like Mark Twain said; Not to let my schooling get in the way of my education. And to continue selling ice to Eskimos. That's how it works, uh-huh. And I kick ass at it, so why not.
Furthermore, let me give a few shout outs to, let's see .. Fatimami. I didn't think I'd ever find, in a million years, someone worth talking to in a chatroom called "Desi Chat." You've proven me wrong too. I mean, seriously.
Maira, thanks for reading my blog for all this time, and spreading the word all the way to your uni in Karachi. Say hi to your 'class-mates' for me. =p
I just typed in the title for the post, and damn. I do NOT want to age anymore. 18 was where it was, man. I mean, I realize Age is just a number - but I fear the fact that no one else realizes that! Or do they? Because people all around me act dumb as shit, and never their own age, stupidity is at an all time rise, people fail to see beyond the cover of the book - it's crazy. And I'm just trying to see how to make that work for me ...
Salma, Salwa, Kanchan - shout out, because you've spread the word too. Thanks for being here, for wishing me a happy birthday, for being you, and ... yeah, that's about it. Thanks.
Sheeni. You're evil, and we all know that about now. How about turn it down a couple of notches, it's getting old, seriously. =p Still love you though!
Who else .. hmm .. Zule, you're an idiot. Anum, you're a bigger idiot.
My, this post has gotten long. And I still feel like I'm missing so many people.
Aah, how about the rest of the world? Thanks for giving me numerous reasons to HATE all the things that you do. Thanks for being stupid, at the most odd of times. Thanks for making no sense, for doing things so pointless, for being so much like SHEEP. Thanks for giving me things to Rant about, to show my anger and hate. For making me feel so much smarter, for making me realize, how lucky I am not to be eating grass like you are. For loving the iphone, thank you, idiots. For fueling the corporate machine. For NOT sticking it to the man, because you LOVE the man and don't even realize it. For being so STUPID and realizing it AFTER the war in Iraq. For, drinking out of your Grande' cups of Coffee, for chewing on donuts even if they taste like shit - but just for the sake of chewing on donuts. For thinking Kim Kardashian is hot, even though deep down inside we all know - you wouldn't want to be on the camera in a sex tape with her either. Off camera goes though, right?
For BUYING that tape. God dammit, there's not much to see in there that's not all over the internet already! Images.google.com, idiot.
For campers all over Call of Duty 5 online. Get a fucking life. If you're playing ONLY to win, then you're not winning anything other than the title of FUCKING RETARD.
For the people that judge people without wondering why they do, what they do. For judging strippers, whores, prostitutes, and porn stars, but not giving a flying fuck about what REALLY ticks in that teeny tiny head. Seriously. Psychology ftw.
For asking questions, demanding answers. Not just sitting back, and watching shit hit the fan. Please, people. ASK. FIGURE OUT, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. "WHY?" is in the dictionaries for a REASON.
For everyone reading this blog post right now. For everyone that's made my life miserable, for everyone that's made it amazing. For everyone' that's going to make my life miserable, and for everyone that's not planning it anytime soon.
Thank you. I love you, people. You fuel my engines, you give me shit to write about. Please, don't stop killing each other, writers have got to have something to write about, people need something to talk about. We can't have peace, without war =)
I feel like I'm diverting from my mission, deviating from my objective. How about a big round of applause to Life, huh? To Aging. To, Living!
To experiencing, to learning. To finding out, to getting our hearts broken, to falling in love. To, cheat, to lie, to be lied to, to be cheated to. To laugh, to cry, to experience joy and pain.
To be here on planet Earth, to have a mind that works (almost, for some people). To have a heart that's making blood work. For a Soul that most people fail to see or acknowledge.
I've just turned twenty, I have no clue what the fuck I've been writing about for half this blog post, and I'm pissed for no reason what-so-ever. So, let me exit while I'm still on top, eh?
As I was saying - you people Kick Ass. Not as much as me, of course, but you're trying, nonetheless. Keep at it.
Love each and everyone of you for being here! xoxo for all the females, and .. well, high-fives or some shit for the guys. Or maybe just like a wave, from a distance. You know like a .. like a nod or something.
- Danish Arif.
May 28, 2009
You know what sucks?
I was scheduled to fly on the 27th, reach Riyadh on the 28th. And I could turn 20 with my parents. Perfect, right?
You need a transit visa, even if you're on a plane going to fucking Canada. Even if the layover is just one hour, and you don't get out of the God damn plane, you still need a transit visa. Go figure. Stupid Canadians.
So, I tried cancelling my flight, ended up going back home, to find out that the flight can not be re-scheduled, and I'd have to pay a 900 dollar fee to fly on a further date. Seriously. What the fuck?
Do NOT buy tickets from www.vayama.com. They suck cocks in hell. So does their outsourced customer support team, that I called 7 times yesterday, to talk to 4 different people, that gave me 4 different answers. And then I got an email, which said something else.
Seriously. Wtf?! So you can't afford to run a company, and therefore, you outsource and hire people all the way in India that don't even know how to do what they are doing. And on top of that, you pay that minimum wage. Seriously. Wtf? But then again, I guess paying minimum wage to someone that doesn't even know what they're doing IS generosity, if not plain dumbass-ness.
So I'm still in Philadelphia, 2000 dollars short, and pissed off like never before. Oh, and I turn 20 in a few hours. It doesn't get any worse.
You need a transit visa, even if you're on a plane going to fucking Canada. Even if the layover is just one hour, and you don't get out of the God damn plane, you still need a transit visa. Go figure. Stupid Canadians.
So, I tried cancelling my flight, ended up going back home, to find out that the flight can not be re-scheduled, and I'd have to pay a 900 dollar fee to fly on a further date. Seriously. What the fuck?
Do NOT buy tickets from www.vayama.com. They suck cocks in hell. So does their outsourced customer support team, that I called 7 times yesterday, to talk to 4 different people, that gave me 4 different answers. And then I got an email, which said something else.
Seriously. Wtf?! So you can't afford to run a company, and therefore, you outsource and hire people all the way in India that don't even know how to do what they are doing. And on top of that, you pay that minimum wage. Seriously. Wtf? But then again, I guess paying minimum wage to someone that doesn't even know what they're doing IS generosity, if not plain dumbass-ness.
So I'm still in Philadelphia, 2000 dollars short, and pissed off like never before. Oh, and I turn 20 in a few hours. It doesn't get any worse.
May 25, 2009
Wake me up when the floor stops spinning.
I had a very crazy last night, and proof is this Wolverine Slurpee glass that I paid 2 dollars for last night and don't even remember buying.
But I can believe I bought it; it has those holographic image things, and I heard slurpee tastes REALLY good ... at times ... like last night ...
The apartment is a mess. And not just your average mess, no. See, two days ago we bought a 12 pack of pepsi. And there are cans all over the floor. If I fish my hand below the bed right now, I can bet I'll grab at least 2 cans right now.
I'm still really dizzy, it's a miracle I even woke up so early. 1.59 PM. New record.
Porcupine Tree sounds so good in the morning, it's amazing.
My room mate is nowhere to be found, probably went out on an errand or something.
I needed a new debit card, lost mine 3 weeks ago, a new one's been issued, but this country's got so many damn holidays, and apparently today's the Memorial Day. I have no idea what that is, ignorant piece of crap that I am, and all I know is - that the bank is not open.
I have a bag of chips besides me - half empty (or half full) and it's been completely crushed, probably because I've been sleeping on it. Clothes lay all around me as I type this, so do empty bottles of seven up and powerade, more packs of chips, empty chocolate wrappers, and aluminum foil everywhere. With four neat holes on it, turned black, it's apparent someone's been burning something on it.
Oops, my Iphone .. Damn it .. Omnia is ringing. Be right back.
...
[2 minutes later]
The sun shines through the window, and hurts my eyes. But it's the kind of hurt I like. It's the hurt that tells me, that the glistering light is touching the Adrenaline gland behind my eyes, trying to pump epinephrine in my body. And it seems to be working too.
More empty bottles .. or Orange juice, Dayquil and Ketchup. A bowl of Frosted flakes. And a lot of paper.
Right under my bed, tissue paper covers the carpet, turned brown - soaking up spilled pepsi. From last night, or the one before that, I don't remember anymore - but someone should've thrown that out. Which reminds me, I was supposed to take out the trash last night. Bummer.
My flight is in a few days, on the [censored] to be exact. I'll land in Riyadh on the [censored] at [censored] and be home at [censored]!!
Can't think of anything else to write about, so I'm going to go ahead and microwave the pizza I ordered last night, before making it disappear.
But I can believe I bought it; it has those holographic image things, and I heard slurpee tastes REALLY good ... at times ... like last night ...
The apartment is a mess. And not just your average mess, no. See, two days ago we bought a 12 pack of pepsi. And there are cans all over the floor. If I fish my hand below the bed right now, I can bet I'll grab at least 2 cans right now.
I'm still really dizzy, it's a miracle I even woke up so early. 1.59 PM. New record.
Porcupine Tree sounds so good in the morning, it's amazing.
My room mate is nowhere to be found, probably went out on an errand or something.
I needed a new debit card, lost mine 3 weeks ago, a new one's been issued, but this country's got so many damn holidays, and apparently today's the Memorial Day. I have no idea what that is, ignorant piece of crap that I am, and all I know is - that the bank is not open.
I have a bag of chips besides me - half empty (or half full) and it's been completely crushed, probably because I've been sleeping on it. Clothes lay all around me as I type this, so do empty bottles of seven up and powerade, more packs of chips, empty chocolate wrappers, and aluminum foil everywhere. With four neat holes on it, turned black, it's apparent someone's been burning something on it.
Oops, my Iphone .. Damn it .. Omnia is ringing. Be right back.
...
[2 minutes later]
The sun shines through the window, and hurts my eyes. But it's the kind of hurt I like. It's the hurt that tells me, that the glistering light is touching the Adrenaline gland behind my eyes, trying to pump epinephrine in my body. And it seems to be working too.
More empty bottles .. or Orange juice, Dayquil and Ketchup. A bowl of Frosted flakes. And a lot of paper.
Right under my bed, tissue paper covers the carpet, turned brown - soaking up spilled pepsi. From last night, or the one before that, I don't remember anymore - but someone should've thrown that out. Which reminds me, I was supposed to take out the trash last night. Bummer.
My flight is in a few days, on the [censored] to be exact. I'll land in Riyadh on the [censored] at [censored] and be home at [censored]!!
Can't think of anything else to write about, so I'm going to go ahead and microwave the pizza I ordered last night, before making it disappear.
May 18, 2009
May 17, 2009
Prison Break
I can't believe it.
After 4 and a half years that I've watched it, it has ended. Out of nowhere too. I was not expecting this. It almost feels like a breakup. How will my life go on? Pretty soon I'll be angry at Prison Break. It's Prison Break's loss, not mine. But why did it have to end this way?
I mean seriously. What, the fuck? I'm not going to ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet, because a dumbfuck, inbred retard, ruined it for me by posting the ending on his fucking facebook status (get a life, seriously.) I know that's ironic, I'm writing a blog post about the show myself - but at least I'm not spoiling anything for anyone! It's always been a cliffhanger, Prison Break watchers, hasn't it? But seriously. What the fuck.
Prison Break will be missed. For years, me and my friends have discussed every episode in detail. Most of the time I've seen the future, concerning Michael Schofield's fate and everyone else's too. Other times they just caught me with a big surprised look on my face. And this particularly would've been one of those moments if a tool hadn't ruined it for me.
But that doesn't change the fact that it has actually ended. No more Prison Break. And Supernatural is also on hiatus, considering the Season ending. Then it's Season 5, which is probably also going to be the last Supernatural season.
What am I going to make assumptions and prophecies about, then?
I'm honestly depressed now. Yes, about a TV show. You wouldn't know if you haven't been watching something for 4 and a half years. I know, it's sad, and almost pathetic. But what can I say, I get attached to masterful storytelling and it's characters.
My list of story heroes only consisted of Edmond Dantes from The Count of Monte Cristo till now. But I've added Michael Schofield.
On a side note, please acknowledge that this post is not lame at all. Thank you.
After 4 and a half years that I've watched it, it has ended. Out of nowhere too. I was not expecting this. It almost feels like a breakup. How will my life go on? Pretty soon I'll be angry at Prison Break. It's Prison Break's loss, not mine. But why did it have to end this way?
I mean seriously. What, the fuck? I'm not going to ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it yet, because a dumbfuck, inbred retard, ruined it for me by posting the ending on his fucking facebook status (get a life, seriously.) I know that's ironic, I'm writing a blog post about the show myself - but at least I'm not spoiling anything for anyone! It's always been a cliffhanger, Prison Break watchers, hasn't it? But seriously. What the fuck.
Prison Break will be missed. For years, me and my friends have discussed every episode in detail. Most of the time I've seen the future, concerning Michael Schofield's fate and everyone else's too. Other times they just caught me with a big surprised look on my face. And this particularly would've been one of those moments if a tool hadn't ruined it for me.
But that doesn't change the fact that it has actually ended. No more Prison Break. And Supernatural is also on hiatus, considering the Season ending. Then it's Season 5, which is probably also going to be the last Supernatural season.
What am I going to make assumptions and prophecies about, then?
I'm honestly depressed now. Yes, about a TV show. You wouldn't know if you haven't been watching something for 4 and a half years. I know, it's sad, and almost pathetic. But what can I say, I get attached to masterful storytelling and it's characters.
My list of story heroes only consisted of Edmond Dantes from The Count of Monte Cristo till now. But I've added Michael Schofield.
On a side note, please acknowledge that this post is not lame at all. Thank you.
May 4, 2009
Faith.
When I was a curious young lad, of around 4 or 5 years, I remember of a time when my ticking brain grew curious about God.
After hearing God's argument and his side of the story, growing up in a Muslim household, I had more questions than answers.
So I asked the person that apparently knew everything there was to know. My faithful and ever so wise - Mum.
If God truly does exist, why can't we see him? Million dollar question, coming from a child, my mother definitely needed to think a while, for a a valid response that would shun such questions in the future in my head, before they ever reached my tongue.
So after "We can't see everything, and everything that exists can't be seen," she gave up and decided to answer with a different approach, and to the best of her capabilities, she did.
She told me God was light. And what was light to a child? To me, apparently, Electricity was. In my mind, I had found God - he was in all the light bulbs and he was what enabled us to see in the dark, even though the meaning in my head at that time was purely literal.
But we must find out for ourselves, and no question is truly answered if we don't have an answer of our own. And therefore, I decided to 'test God.' To really see for myself, I decided to threaten the entity. Electricity, light - Light bulbs.
I argued, I told her I don't believe her, and to truly believe, I must find out for myself.
So I went ahead and touched a scorching light bulb.
And just how everything must have a beginning, there was my beginning to Faith.
The burning sensation on my hand, surely I had witnessed God's spite. I had found out, I had witnessed, my very first question pointed at faith had been answered.
"Now I must ask more," I must've said in my head.
Is it not proof, that all things begin at the bottom? For now the questions I ask are different and elaborate. They've evolved.
"Is it proof that God doesn't exist, or is it proof that the Devil does?"
Cheers to everyone that, like me, is still willing and trying to find out.
For no question is truly answered if we don't have an answer of our own.
After hearing God's argument and his side of the story, growing up in a Muslim household, I had more questions than answers.
So I asked the person that apparently knew everything there was to know. My faithful and ever so wise - Mum.
If God truly does exist, why can't we see him? Million dollar question, coming from a child, my mother definitely needed to think a while, for a a valid response that would shun such questions in the future in my head, before they ever reached my tongue.
So after "We can't see everything, and everything that exists can't be seen," she gave up and decided to answer with a different approach, and to the best of her capabilities, she did.
She told me God was light. And what was light to a child? To me, apparently, Electricity was. In my mind, I had found God - he was in all the light bulbs and he was what enabled us to see in the dark, even though the meaning in my head at that time was purely literal.
But we must find out for ourselves, and no question is truly answered if we don't have an answer of our own. And therefore, I decided to 'test God.' To really see for myself, I decided to threaten the entity. Electricity, light - Light bulbs.
I argued, I told her I don't believe her, and to truly believe, I must find out for myself.
So I went ahead and touched a scorching light bulb.
And just how everything must have a beginning, there was my beginning to Faith.
The burning sensation on my hand, surely I had witnessed God's spite. I had found out, I had witnessed, my very first question pointed at faith had been answered.
"Now I must ask more," I must've said in my head.
Is it not proof, that all things begin at the bottom? For now the questions I ask are different and elaborate. They've evolved.
"Is it proof that God doesn't exist, or is it proof that the Devil does?"
Cheers to everyone that, like me, is still willing and trying to find out.
For no question is truly answered if we don't have an answer of our own.
May 3, 2009
Blindfolds - The ramblings of a mad man.
"You're a respected man," he said. "Keep it that way."
Something someone said to me, that I haven't been able to shake off.
It's funny then. What about self-respect, and what if I don't 'keep it that way' regarding that?
There's a funny way of hating everything else, but loving yourself. I'm at an extreme loss of words, and I feel helpless. I want to, I need to write. Something, to take all this off my mind.
The gift of writing, someone recently said, I have a way with words. I can sell ice to an eskimo, I said.
When guilt and depression kick in, who do you blame? For you had no choice, you were held in a gilded cage. By yourself.
But then you broke free of it, and you're free to spread your wings. But with the wind blowing in the other way, probably because you cursed not being free once.
For it being too good to be true, now you wish you went back inside. But it's broken, and there's no way. And you're outside, but lost, still not having your way. You're traveling, yes, going places; but on a track, not your own.
Is there really a freedom, a choice of free will? Is it really about being clever, and not being held against your will? Is it? Or can two and two work together, can you take risks for yourself? And not be shunned by labels, by ghosts of broken dreams past. Of broken wishes, of jealous winds, and bars of status quo.
Where's the Shangri-La. Isn't fiction man made too? Then if we're meant to travel on the path that we're on, where exactly is our freedom, and where do we stand? Do we have a voice for our objections, or are all objections overruled; by you, slave of the system, by them; slaves of the rule.
Not by choice, not by will; by what was asked at birth. Set free at birth, to be thrown inside a bigger womb. Where spreading our arms is as easy as blinking, but spreading our thoughts is a sin committed against God.
I ask you, the slaves, questions directed at the wrong wall. The wall I'm looking for is mightier, not any man made foolish wisdom.
For you learned from the fool before you, and a fool is teaching to me. The world is, our teacher, is it not? But teaches us idioticy that has been passed, from your master to mine, and me to my student.
Let's not label, let's not objectify. Let's just tighten the blindfolds, and walk closer to the edge. Lose balance, we already have - the only thing left to lose is this being. Self, is already gone, now only the accompanying limbs and bones wish to evolve.
Evolve as if evolution is true. Think as if thinking makes us stronger. Create larger walls, hate even more; but where does that put us? Let's just indulge deeper into the maze that's been created, let's just row boats for the evil we've elected.
Succumb to sin, we all do, yet hush our thoughts before they reach our mouths.
Shouldn't think that way, God forbid we say it out loud. But no one's watching our thoughts, thank God, let's just keep it in our skull. Shhhh.
For he did it, and everyone knows, let's shun him, and feel a bit better. About ourselves, God help us, who else is there, Holy enough, to feel anything for?
You've wronged, and I am perfect, for I follow the light. No asking questions, not checking to see if it's true, this blindfold shall remain on. I'm not making the mistake of taking it off, but you go ahead; tell me what's on the other side.
And when the light turns you blind, for you made the mistake; be sure to let me know. I wouldn't want to be caught catching a peek - I'm too good for that. Too good for anything. I'm too good to be true.
And slavery will never end, not for you, not for me. For there lives a slave inside of you, and we're all aware it's true.
But no one dare try to set it free, or even ask why it's there. We've lived on for a million years with it, why fight the current and risk being washed away?
Let's all just close our eyes, and tighten the blindfold instead.
It's a lot easier that way.
Something someone said to me, that I haven't been able to shake off.
It's funny then. What about self-respect, and what if I don't 'keep it that way' regarding that?
There's a funny way of hating everything else, but loving yourself. I'm at an extreme loss of words, and I feel helpless. I want to, I need to write. Something, to take all this off my mind.
The gift of writing, someone recently said, I have a way with words. I can sell ice to an eskimo, I said.
When guilt and depression kick in, who do you blame? For you had no choice, you were held in a gilded cage. By yourself.
But then you broke free of it, and you're free to spread your wings. But with the wind blowing in the other way, probably because you cursed not being free once.
For it being too good to be true, now you wish you went back inside. But it's broken, and there's no way. And you're outside, but lost, still not having your way. You're traveling, yes, going places; but on a track, not your own.
Is there really a freedom, a choice of free will? Is it really about being clever, and not being held against your will? Is it? Or can two and two work together, can you take risks for yourself? And not be shunned by labels, by ghosts of broken dreams past. Of broken wishes, of jealous winds, and bars of status quo.
Where's the Shangri-La. Isn't fiction man made too? Then if we're meant to travel on the path that we're on, where exactly is our freedom, and where do we stand? Do we have a voice for our objections, or are all objections overruled; by you, slave of the system, by them; slaves of the rule.
Not by choice, not by will; by what was asked at birth. Set free at birth, to be thrown inside a bigger womb. Where spreading our arms is as easy as blinking, but spreading our thoughts is a sin committed against God.
I ask you, the slaves, questions directed at the wrong wall. The wall I'm looking for is mightier, not any man made foolish wisdom.
For you learned from the fool before you, and a fool is teaching to me. The world is, our teacher, is it not? But teaches us idioticy that has been passed, from your master to mine, and me to my student.
Let's not label, let's not objectify. Let's just tighten the blindfolds, and walk closer to the edge. Lose balance, we already have - the only thing left to lose is this being. Self, is already gone, now only the accompanying limbs and bones wish to evolve.
Evolve as if evolution is true. Think as if thinking makes us stronger. Create larger walls, hate even more; but where does that put us? Let's just indulge deeper into the maze that's been created, let's just row boats for the evil we've elected.
Succumb to sin, we all do, yet hush our thoughts before they reach our mouths.
Shouldn't think that way, God forbid we say it out loud. But no one's watching our thoughts, thank God, let's just keep it in our skull. Shhhh.
For he did it, and everyone knows, let's shun him, and feel a bit better. About ourselves, God help us, who else is there, Holy enough, to feel anything for?
You've wronged, and I am perfect, for I follow the light. No asking questions, not checking to see if it's true, this blindfold shall remain on. I'm not making the mistake of taking it off, but you go ahead; tell me what's on the other side.
And when the light turns you blind, for you made the mistake; be sure to let me know. I wouldn't want to be caught catching a peek - I'm too good for that. Too good for anything. I'm too good to be true.
And slavery will never end, not for you, not for me. For there lives a slave inside of you, and we're all aware it's true.
But no one dare try to set it free, or even ask why it's there. We've lived on for a million years with it, why fight the current and risk being washed away?
Let's all just close our eyes, and tighten the blindfold instead.
It's a lot easier that way.
Apr 29, 2009
Bummer.
I start writing this, hoping it would make me feel just a little better about myself.
I was standing in my apartment, occupied by my roommate's Uncle and Aunt, and his Mum.
So, I'm standing in the other room, behind a wall, where they can't see me, with a song playing in my head, and me doing Amir Khan's dance, from the movie Ghulam. Yes, the one with my legs extended, my arms in the air like I'm holding an invisible box with both of them, and moving my head left and right, with my belly moving along too.
(See it here - Skip to 2:09)
Imagine that.
Now, I do this, expecting my roommate, that's in the other room too, to come join me so we can share the experience. But instead, his Aunt decides to see what the room is like.
So imagine an astonished look on my face, with my feet still extended, the invisible box still above my head, my belly stationary now, and my gaze paused at her face. Telling myself in the head that she's not real. Oh please God, let my roommate's aunt be a figment of my ever so vivid imagination.
But we don't always get what we want, do we.
She starts laughing, and I don't blame her, I would've laughed too. If I wasn't trying really really hard to not laugh, of course.
"Oye, exercise ho rahi hai?" She said.
And in my head I said, "kaash wohi kar raha hota, Aunty ..."
I was standing in my apartment, occupied by my roommate's Uncle and Aunt, and his Mum.
So, I'm standing in the other room, behind a wall, where they can't see me, with a song playing in my head, and me doing Amir Khan's dance, from the movie Ghulam. Yes, the one with my legs extended, my arms in the air like I'm holding an invisible box with both of them, and moving my head left and right, with my belly moving along too.
(See it here - Skip to 2:09)
Imagine that.
Now, I do this, expecting my roommate, that's in the other room too, to come join me so we can share the experience. But instead, his Aunt decides to see what the room is like.
So imagine an astonished look on my face, with my feet still extended, the invisible box still above my head, my belly stationary now, and my gaze paused at her face. Telling myself in the head that she's not real. Oh please God, let my roommate's aunt be a figment of my ever so vivid imagination.
But we don't always get what we want, do we.
She starts laughing, and I don't blame her, I would've laughed too. If I wasn't trying really really hard to not laugh, of course.
"Oye, exercise ho rahi hai?" She said.
And in my head I said, "kaash wohi kar raha hota, Aunty ..."
Apr 27, 2009
The Wonderful Act of Song Writing.
I completely hate myself right now, for having a pussycat dolls song stuck in my head. I mean sure, if I had a pussycat doll stuck in my head, that wouldn't be all that bad, because I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but - I love women, no doubt about it. But I just don't like it when they try their brains at thinking.
So I'm a sexist. Sue me.
But heck, that's just up to per with Nickelback lyrics. Chad Kroeger definitely puts his last brain cell to work with those songs. (If I dare call them that, in fear of disrespecting people that actually make good music.)
I sure hope that is the result of an attempt at song writing under the influence of a 'drug'.
Oh, but there is more.
There's oh, so more.
In "If Everyone Cared", Chad tells us;
Ladies and Gentlemen, Chad Kroeger, with his modern adaptation of 'Imagine', but through the vocabulary of a four year old.
There there is 'Rhythm Is A Dancer' by "Snap". That's right, that's their name. Snap.
And Razorlight's 'Somewhere Else';
I think it's highly unlikely that ever happened. Oh, no, there most definitely is a song like that. I just think he's making up meeting a girl who asked his name.
And last but not the least, here's something from Oasis. They call it, 'Champagne Supernova';
I really don't know where I was, but something tells me it was one hell of a party.
I leave you with a video of Nickleback being boo-ed off stage, at their own concert. Make sure you catch him flipping the crowd off at the end too. Priceless stuff.
So I'm a sexist. Sue me.
"I can't, take it any longer,
thought that we were stronger,
all we do is linger."
But heck, that's just up to per with Nickelback lyrics. Chad Kroeger definitely puts his last brain cell to work with those songs. (If I dare call them that, in fear of disrespecting people that actually make good music.)
"Like a gift from the heavens, it was easy to tell,
It was love from above, that could save me from hell,
She had fire in her soul it was easy to see,
how the devil himself could be pulled out of me,
There were drums in the air as she started to dance,
Every soul in the room keeping time with there hands,"
I sure hope that is the result of an attempt at song writing under the influence of a 'drug'.
Oh, but there is more.
"I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free
I'll have the quesadilla, uh huh"
There's oh, so more.
In "If Everyone Cared", Chad tells us;
"If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day, when nobody died."
Ladies and Gentlemen, Chad Kroeger, with his modern adaptation of 'Imagine', but through the vocabulary of a four year old.
There there is 'Rhythm Is A Dancer' by "Snap". That's right, that's their name. Snap.
"I'm as serious as cancer,
When I say Rhythm is a Dancer."
And Razorlight's 'Somewhere Else';
"And I met a girl,
she asked me my name,
I told her what it was."
I think it's highly unlikely that ever happened. Oh, no, there most definitely is a song like that. I just think he's making up meeting a girl who asked his name.
And last but not the least, here's something from Oasis. They call it, 'Champagne Supernova';
"Slowly walking down the hall,
Faster than a cannonball,
Where were you when we were getting high?"
I really don't know where I was, but something tells me it was one hell of a party.
I leave you with a video of Nickleback being boo-ed off stage, at their own concert. Make sure you catch him flipping the crowd off at the end too. Priceless stuff.
Apr 23, 2009
Idioticy in Music.
Jesus Christ.
I am tired, of people that don't know how to even hold a musical instrument, or even have the most vague sense of music. Yet, they love commenting on videos that people that make very crappy music, and try to sell them off to the rest of the idiots from the bottom of the gene pool, upload.
Mindless, ignorant, and just plain idiotic. The music, and the audience.
If you think you can play guitar when you put the original song in the background (which is louder than your amplifier) and play out of tune with the actual studio recording of artists, with no idea what a metronome is; You are a dweeb. Please put that guitar down and get some education.
Ignorance is not bliss.
I am tired, of people that don't know how to even hold a musical instrument, or even have the most vague sense of music. Yet, they love commenting on videos that people that make very crappy music, and try to sell them off to the rest of the idiots from the bottom of the gene pool, upload.
Mindless, ignorant, and just plain idiotic. The music, and the audience.
If you think you can play guitar when you put the original song in the background (which is louder than your amplifier) and play out of tune with the actual studio recording of artists, with no idea what a metronome is; You are a dweeb. Please put that guitar down and get some education.
Ignorance is not bliss.
Apr 21, 2009
Spring.
Spring, has finally struck Philadelphia.
'Spring break' came and went, yet the leaves have just only started turning pink, white and green. Oh, the sheer beauty.
My professor suggested a few days ago that I try to get into the English Honors program. and I would like to thank him for making things even more confusing.
Confusion is a funny thing. Come to think of it, I find funny in weird places - don't I?
I'm confused about life, our purpose on earth, about what 'the future holds' (as cliche' as that sounds, it's true) and various other events that have taken place not so long ago.
Aah, I need to vent off some steam, release some stress, experience some nirvana, and stop thinking so much. But unfortunately, that's just not possible, now is it?
www.danish989.deviantart.com ~ My DeviantArt Page - pay a visit, leave some comments, would be much appreciated.
'Spring break' came and went, yet the leaves have just only started turning pink, white and green. Oh, the sheer beauty.
My professor suggested a few days ago that I try to get into the English Honors program. and I would like to thank him for making things even more confusing.
Confusion is a funny thing. Come to think of it, I find funny in weird places - don't I?
I'm confused about life, our purpose on earth, about what 'the future holds' (as cliche' as that sounds, it's true) and various other events that have taken place not so long ago.
Aah, I need to vent off some steam, release some stress, experience some nirvana, and stop thinking so much. But unfortunately, that's just not possible, now is it?
www.danish989.deviantart.com ~ My DeviantArt Page - pay a visit, leave some comments, would be much appreciated.
Apr 15, 2009
All the men in the world: We give up, God, seriously.
The fun thing about life is, so many options.
So many things to love. But let's talk about all the things to hate, right, keep up with the traditions of my blog.
So, the greeks say, Women were created as a punishment for men. And I couldn't agree more, right?
But I would like to blame God. I mean seriously, out of all the bones to be taken from the average male body, he chose a rib. A rib, probably the most crooked bone in the human body. Why couldn't he just take out the Humerus from an arm or something? Would save humanity and mankind so much trouble in the future. Civilization would probably be perfect then. What do you expect to make from bad dough? Bad bread. Crooked bone, crooked species. Makes sense, doesn't it, intellectually advanced men?
And then came the snake, and the God forsaken (no pun intended) apple. I mean, for Christ's sake, Women - Don't you see? Eve made the same mistake. Listen to men, for the love of God. Screw the fucking metaphorical snake, we beg and plead. But it's true what they say, people can't really change. Adams haven't, and Eves won't ever either.
Aah, Adam, when will you learn? Don't listen to Eve, she just wants you both kicked out of Eden.
After they were knocked out of Eden, I bet Eve just blamed everything on Adam.
"So what if I suggested the apple? Would you jump in a lake, if I suggested that too?"
"Oh, but Eve, I love you so, and will do anything for you."
"Oh, please, Adam, let's just get started with creating a civilization, can we? Keep that Shakespeare shit to yourself."
And then the chain started, and here we are, you and I.
Some smartass female came up with "all men are dogs."
She was right though, Dogs are in fact very loyal. Felines, on the other hand ...
I had a friend that owned a cat. The damn thing would bite his fingers in the middle of the night to wake him, just because she was hungry. Seriously, all men in a commited relationship right now - does that sound familiar or what?
Chris Rock addressed the men of the world when he said :
Am I united when I say, in part of all the men in the world: We give up, God, seriously. You wanted to torture us, we've been tortured.
Newton fucking figured out gravity, but how many females did he understand, have you ever wondered?
Einstein knew e=mc2 is equation of light in a vacuum. But what goes on in the head of a female? Is there a Darth Vader in there, or what? Sure seems like it.
Einstein figured out that energy and mass are interchangeable. That, energy equals the amount of mass multiplied by the speed of light squared. E=mc2, motherfucker. But seriously, what goes on in the head of a female? It's probably like a vacuum in there too.
Either that, or Darth Vader has successfully created another army and we just don't know it yet.
Oh please, Dear God, let the force be with us.
And before I get flamed by females saying men aren't trustworthy and this and that shit, What do you frigging expect, ladies? We're bound to get wiser after Eve screwed us over, right? Go fool another Homosapian, this one has learned.
So many things to love. But let's talk about all the things to hate, right, keep up with the traditions of my blog.
So, the greeks say, Women were created as a punishment for men. And I couldn't agree more, right?
But I would like to blame God. I mean seriously, out of all the bones to be taken from the average male body, he chose a rib. A rib, probably the most crooked bone in the human body. Why couldn't he just take out the Humerus from an arm or something? Would save humanity and mankind so much trouble in the future. Civilization would probably be perfect then. What do you expect to make from bad dough? Bad bread. Crooked bone, crooked species. Makes sense, doesn't it, intellectually advanced men?
And then came the snake, and the God forsaken (no pun intended) apple. I mean, for Christ's sake, Women - Don't you see? Eve made the same mistake. Listen to men, for the love of God. Screw the fucking metaphorical snake, we beg and plead. But it's true what they say, people can't really change. Adams haven't, and Eves won't ever either.
Aah, Adam, when will you learn? Don't listen to Eve, she just wants you both kicked out of Eden.
After they were knocked out of Eden, I bet Eve just blamed everything on Adam.
"So what if I suggested the apple? Would you jump in a lake, if I suggested that too?"
"Oh, but Eve, I love you so, and will do anything for you."
"Oh, please, Adam, let's just get started with creating a civilization, can we? Keep that Shakespeare shit to yourself."
And then the chain started, and here we are, you and I.
Some smartass female came up with "all men are dogs."
She was right though, Dogs are in fact very loyal. Felines, on the other hand ...
I had a friend that owned a cat. The damn thing would bite his fingers in the middle of the night to wake him, just because she was hungry. Seriously, all men in a commited relationship right now - does that sound familiar or what?
Chris Rock addressed the men of the world when he said :
If you haven't contemplated murder, you ain't ever been in love. If you haven't seriously thought about killing a mutha****a or two, you ain't been in love.
If you haven't ever had a can of poison in your hand, and looked at it for 45mins straight, you ain't been in love. If you haven't bought a shovel and a bag and a rug to roll their fat ass up in, you ain't been in love. If you haven't practiced your alibi infront of the mirror, you ain't been in love.
And the only thing stopping you from killing this mutha****a - is an episode of CSI.
Fellas, when you wake up in the morning, you should look yourself in the mirror and say, "Fuck you. Fuck your hopes, fuck your dreams, fuck your plans … fuck everything you thought this life was going to bring to you. Now let's go out there and try to make this bitch happy."
Oh the abortion issue, it's a woman's issue. When a woman get pregnant, she don't want to hear shit from the man. Fuck you, motherfuck you, I don't need you. Unless she decides to have the baby and she's like, "Where my check?"
Am I united when I say, in part of all the men in the world: We give up, God, seriously. You wanted to torture us, we've been tortured.
Newton fucking figured out gravity, but how many females did he understand, have you ever wondered?
Einstein knew e=mc2 is equation of light in a vacuum. But what goes on in the head of a female? Is there a Darth Vader in there, or what? Sure seems like it.
Einstein figured out that energy and mass are interchangeable. That, energy equals the amount of mass multiplied by the speed of light squared. E=mc2, motherfucker. But seriously, what goes on in the head of a female? It's probably like a vacuum in there too.
Either that, or Darth Vader has successfully created another army and we just don't know it yet.
Oh please, Dear God, let the force be with us.
And before I get flamed by females saying men aren't trustworthy and this and that shit, What do you frigging expect, ladies? We're bound to get wiser after Eve screwed us over, right? Go fool another Homosapian, this one has learned.
Apr 9, 2009
Depression.
So we meet again, depression, my dear friend.
I've learned more from ten days of agony that I ever would've from ten years of content.
~l|~
I've deactivated my facebook account. Somehow that made me feel a tad bit better.
I've decided not to sign on at msn as much as I used to. Everyday, that is. Is that possible? Let's find out.
I can't not check my email. Or I would've done that too.
I really didn't think it would come to this again. Really. I thought depression was left far behind when I decided to be happy no matter what. But I guess that's just not possible.
This post probably belongs someplace no one can read it, rather than on my blog where there's been so much commotion lately. Surprisingly (?)
Aah, if only I didn't have to wake up in the morning. What I would give to be able to just lay in bed and not crawl out until I absolutely need to.
What I would give to climb inside a cave and stay away from 'society' for as long as I can.
What I would give for a bottle of Dom Perignon and a 'custom-made cigarette.'
What I would give to be able to forget.
If ten days of agony will make me stronger, I want to be weak.
~l|~
It goes on. Can I argue about whether that is good or bad?
Yes.
But I'm not going to ...
"I walked a mile with happiness
She chattered all the way
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say
I walked again with sorrow
And not a word spoke she
But oh, what I had learned
When sorrow walked with me"
I've learned more from ten days of agony that I ever would've from ten years of content.
~l|~
I've deactivated my facebook account. Somehow that made me feel a tad bit better.
I've decided not to sign on at msn as much as I used to. Everyday, that is. Is that possible? Let's find out.
I can't not check my email. Or I would've done that too.
I really didn't think it would come to this again. Really. I thought depression was left far behind when I decided to be happy no matter what. But I guess that's just not possible.
This post probably belongs someplace no one can read it, rather than on my blog where there's been so much commotion lately. Surprisingly (?)
Aah, if only I didn't have to wake up in the morning. What I would give to be able to just lay in bed and not crawl out until I absolutely need to.
What I would give to climb inside a cave and stay away from 'society' for as long as I can.
What I would give for a bottle of Dom Perignon and a 'custom-made cigarette.'
What I would give to be able to forget.
If ten days of agony will make me stronger, I want to be weak.
~l|~
"Since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved."
Nicollo Machiavelli
"Perhaps one day this too will be pleasant to remember."
- Virgil
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on."
- Robert Frost
It goes on. Can I argue about whether that is good or bad?
Yes.
But I'm not going to ...
Apr 8, 2009
Shit-Crazy.
Somehow talking to my friend Wijdan always makes me feel like writing. Maybe it's because we always have these intellectual conversations - very similar to the kind I have with Sarmad - and they always end up making me want to write about something.
Or just pasting my chats, with both those guys mentioned up there, right here for the world to read and witness sheer brilliance.
Wijdan and Sarmad - They're so similar, it's crazy. Both Tauruses.
If you put Sarmad, Wijdan and me in a room, you'll get 5 people in a room.
Tauruses - 1.5 person.
Geminis - 2 people.
Close, yes, but oh so different still.
In other news, Remember that girl Rida I told everyone about? Who I met very long ago on the internet, but then we stopped talking, and out of nowhere she suddenly finds my blog and leaves a comment. Then we talk, and find out we've actually met before on msn through a mutual friend in Bahrain, ages ago.
Well, guess what? I went to Rida's blog a while ago, and turns out she also knows Wijdan. And funny story - Both Rida and Wijdan claim I inspired them to take up blogging. Sarmad too, actually.
Big whoop, and no sarcasm intended!
So anyway, while talking to Wijdan I came up with this idea ~ that we should both pick a single topic to write about, and then post it at the same time, linking to each other posts. So see that happening in the near future.
And that idea I mentioned above is so similar to my idea, that me and Sarmad start reading the same book together, and then discuss it later on, and probably even write a separate review, it's scary.
Life is crazy, is it not? At least mine is. Very, crazy. I love it.
It's almost sad, but breaking off a relationship is meant to make us sad. Someone wise said, emotions aren't meant to be understood. Dangerous is the man who has justified his feelings. I consider myself dangerous in that light.
I've still been leading a roller coaster of a life. I'm depressed one minute, very fucking happy for no fucking reason the next. Seriously considering seeing a counselor. Note: I said considering, but I don't really feel like it or want to go through with it. In fact, I don't think I am going to, really. I probably should, but I won't.
It's 3.45 AM. I have class at 12.20 PM. That's 9 hours, yes, but I need to wake up at 9.30. That's around 6. That is depressing me to no end right now, but I still refuse to go to sleep for some reason. No, not until I'm completely exhausted to lift a finger to type. That's just me; shit crazy. Ooh, I have a name for the post.
I am happy with the amount I've managed to squeeze out of my life, for a random blog post. Will come up with something else, really soon, and hopefully will not procrastinate in writing it too.
Take care, world. Thanks for all the love and involuntary respect. <3
Or just pasting my chats, with both those guys mentioned up there, right here for the world to read and witness sheer brilliance.
Wijdan and Sarmad - They're so similar, it's crazy. Both Tauruses.
If you put Sarmad, Wijdan and me in a room, you'll get 5 people in a room.
Tauruses - 1.5 person.
Geminis - 2 people.
Close, yes, but oh so different still.
In other news, Remember that girl Rida I told everyone about? Who I met very long ago on the internet, but then we stopped talking, and out of nowhere she suddenly finds my blog and leaves a comment. Then we talk, and find out we've actually met before on msn through a mutual friend in Bahrain, ages ago.
Well, guess what? I went to Rida's blog a while ago, and turns out she also knows Wijdan. And funny story - Both Rida and Wijdan claim I inspired them to take up blogging. Sarmad too, actually.
Big whoop, and no sarcasm intended!
So anyway, while talking to Wijdan I came up with this idea ~ that we should both pick a single topic to write about, and then post it at the same time, linking to each other posts. So see that happening in the near future.
And that idea I mentioned above is so similar to my idea, that me and Sarmad start reading the same book together, and then discuss it later on, and probably even write a separate review, it's scary.
Life is crazy, is it not? At least mine is. Very, crazy. I love it.
It's almost sad, but breaking off a relationship is meant to make us sad. Someone wise said, emotions aren't meant to be understood. Dangerous is the man who has justified his feelings. I consider myself dangerous in that light.
I've still been leading a roller coaster of a life. I'm depressed one minute, very fucking happy for no fucking reason the next. Seriously considering seeing a counselor. Note: I said considering, but I don't really feel like it or want to go through with it. In fact, I don't think I am going to, really. I probably should, but I won't.
It's 3.45 AM. I have class at 12.20 PM. That's 9 hours, yes, but I need to wake up at 9.30. That's around 6. That is depressing me to no end right now, but I still refuse to go to sleep for some reason. No, not until I'm completely exhausted to lift a finger to type. That's just me; shit crazy. Ooh, I have a name for the post.
I am happy with the amount I've managed to squeeze out of my life, for a random blog post. Will come up with something else, really soon, and hopefully will not procrastinate in writing it too.
Take care, world. Thanks for all the love and involuntary respect. <3
Apr 3, 2009
Guilt.
What exactly is guilt and why does it exist?
Was it supposed to act as classical conditioning? To feed us with the schema, that what we just went through before experiencing the immense (or not) guilt, is bad, and should not be done in the future?
Because if that's the whole idea of guilt, than I hate to say it, but that system has most definitely failed, like most systems. But the sad thing is, that system wasn't man made.
And if that's not the idea of guilt, which I would really really like to believe with immense faith, than I'll just consider myself unknowing to the ways in which all these feelings have been programmed into us. That's the million dollar question, isn't it? Even if everyone's gradually but surely ceasing to ask it. Just like, why do we exist? Only more elaborate. Why do we feel guilty?
Because let's face it. Guilt isn't stopping us from doing anything, except feeling guilty in the future itself. A serial killer might feel guilt for the first couple of victims, but then it just becomes the norm, doesn't it? Where's the guilt then? Guilt acts as an entity that just clears itself out. Like a virus that just feeds on itself until it ceases to exist.
At least that's my understanding of it, till this point. What has guilt ever stopped us from doing, other than feeling guilty in the future? Anyone?
I had told myself
this was never to be done again
but as fate had decided
here I find myself today
I had thought this wouldn't happen
and it wouldn't come to this again
but our thoughts although our own
their ends we just can't say
Why does it always lead to this, I might ask
but only to find the same answer again
I didn't think it would matter that much
since everyone's so busy in their own guilty way.
- Danish Arif.
Was it supposed to act as classical conditioning? To feed us with the schema, that what we just went through before experiencing the immense (or not) guilt, is bad, and should not be done in the future?
Because if that's the whole idea of guilt, than I hate to say it, but that system has most definitely failed, like most systems. But the sad thing is, that system wasn't man made.
And if that's not the idea of guilt, which I would really really like to believe with immense faith, than I'll just consider myself unknowing to the ways in which all these feelings have been programmed into us. That's the million dollar question, isn't it? Even if everyone's gradually but surely ceasing to ask it. Just like, why do we exist? Only more elaborate. Why do we feel guilty?
Because let's face it. Guilt isn't stopping us from doing anything, except feeling guilty in the future itself. A serial killer might feel guilt for the first couple of victims, but then it just becomes the norm, doesn't it? Where's the guilt then? Guilt acts as an entity that just clears itself out. Like a virus that just feeds on itself until it ceases to exist.
At least that's my understanding of it, till this point. What has guilt ever stopped us from doing, other than feeling guilty in the future? Anyone?
I had told myself
this was never to be done again
but as fate had decided
here I find myself today
I had thought this wouldn't happen
and it wouldn't come to this again
but our thoughts although our own
their ends we just can't say
Why does it always lead to this, I might ask
but only to find the same answer again
I didn't think it would matter that much
since everyone's so busy in their own guilty way.
- Danish Arif.
Apr 1, 2009
The fire that won't burn
Burnt the last piece of paper-memory up in smoke
but even the ashes smelt like her ..
crushed up all those pieces in my hand
letting the ink drip down the drain
but even the fire wouldn't help me burn ..
tore up the pieces in my hand
made sure they caught fire
killed every last letter with flames
with the coldest fire ever ..
but why won't the memories burn,
why won't the ink, now darker than ever, remove themselves from my hand,
why won't the words, engraved in the back of my head, disappear with the smoke?
Yet another point in life, where I ask myself why
but the fault must be my own,
all of my own ...
but even the ashes smelt like her ..
crushed up all those pieces in my hand
letting the ink drip down the drain
but even the fire wouldn't help me burn ..
tore up the pieces in my hand
made sure they caught fire
killed every last letter with flames
with the coldest fire ever ..
but why won't the memories burn,
why won't the ink, now darker than ever, remove themselves from my hand,
why won't the words, engraved in the back of my head, disappear with the smoke?
Yet another point in life, where I ask myself why
but the fault must be my own,
all of my own ...
Mar 29, 2009
I dream of a revolution.
See, we live in a hypocritical world, we really do. We are quicker on judging other people, but decide so dilligently to pass on judging ourselves, we do. We love conflict, wars, news, evil men, hitlers, the devil, and everything wrong. We thrive on wars, we profit from them. We profit from ignorance, sadness, sheer idioticy, and the government-fed lies. We're living a lie. We know we are, we just chose to.
Ignorance is bliss, we've been fed that lie, and we decide to go with it. We're so much better, aren't we? We judge people, yet we're ignorant. How does that really work?
Avril Lavigne ended up screaming at a group of her fans that decided to wear their ties on t-shirts, much like she does. And we labelled her bad. But trust me, you see a bunch of morons copying everything you do, and you would contemplate murder in cold blood too, let alone vent off some steam.
We're puppets, all of us. We've let our good ol' traits go, forgotten them. We wouldn't know how to survive without any technology, a single day. We're so bound by this concrete jungle, and all that the government has fed us, we can't resist. We've given in, involuntarily. We're all materialistic, we're all thriving for success and tangible wealth, we don't know what Spiritual means anymore.
We don't know what fidelity means, because no one else does. We don't know what being happy means anymore, because no one else does. We're puppets. We're like sheep. We're lemmings. Following each other further down the drain.
I say, let's give up the whole idea that we're on the top of the food chain. Let's pass it on, give it up to amphibians, or whatever it is below us. We eat meat, but is that the only thing that's keeping us on top of the food chain? We're not apart from any other mammal, no. We're not using our brains anymore. They say Einstein, being the smart-ass he was, only used about 8% of his brain power. And every other human can stretch that level to only 5 or sometimes 6%. But seriously, can we, are we?
If Charle's Darwin's bullshit theory of Evolution was actually true, it's definitely going in reverse at the moment. Aren't we supposed to be growing smarter? Then why aren't we? Why do we still have apes.
It's all about money, you and I both know that. Money can't buy happiness, was something the filthy rich came up with when they didn't want the poor to feel too bad. Everything has a price. Everything. Happiness has been left so far behind. There are bigger and better things to be bought now. Like respect, and power. Happiness? What is that?
Beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's true. Just no one's fault that every beholder fails to realize that beauty isn't only skin deep. It's a pity, but they've won. Airbrushes, photoshop, and Vogue magazines have won the right to be making as much money as they do. We've gulped down all these lies like Orange Pulp on a hot summer day. It's in all of us.
Like Chuck Palahniuk said: Our generation has had no great wars, no great depressions. Our wars are spiritual, and our depressions - our lives.
Like Jerry Seinfeld said. If aliens are looking over us right now, walking behind our dogs with a poop scooper, following them around, picking up their crap after them. They won't consider Humans to be in charge, no. What would that look like to them? We should just give it up, let the species behind us on top of the food chain. Just give up.
What are we doing? What is our purpose in life? We're probably glad we got thrown out of Eden. We love conflict, we love hurting each other, we love struggling and arguing and fighting. We wouldn't know happiness, if we didn't know sad. We wouldn't ever be happy, if we weren't ever depressed. We wouldn't have peace, if we never had war. War is just as important to us as happiness is. We wouldn't appreciate love, if we didn't hear about Palestine and Israel every now and then. Maybe that's why they're both still at it. After all these years. Maybe that's why the higher-powers on planet earth don't want that to end. We can't sidetrack, we can't afford to lose focus. Without war, we just wouldn't be satisfied. We won't be happy.
Does trust mean anything to anyone anymore? The more truth we come across, the more paranoid we get. But we're not entitled to the truth anymore, no. What they don't know, won't hurt them, the government says. It's for our own good, isn't it? If we could see the future, we would be so taken by shock, we would fail to operate, fail to live, just give up.
What we don't know, isn't hurting us. That's what's hurting us. But we don't know it. We just don't want to be hurt.
I dream of a revolution.
Right now - more than ever.
Female Obsessions.
I'm posting this important Public Service Announcment by a friend of mine, concerning Twilight and it's affect on women.
By "ZuZu".
He asked me to put up his piece on my blog, and I felt like this was a serious epidemic that was spreading between the women on earth and had to be addressed.
~~~~
Sick of the whole, "OMG... I love Edward” thing!!
First, don't get me wrong, I am in no way jealous of a fictional vampire character.
However, I feel like I can't go anywhere anymore without some girl talking on the phone, or yapping up her friend about how much she loves Edward Cullen, and how much Edward Cullen has changed their lives. It is starting to piss me off on many levels. I mean, PLEASE STFU ALREADY!
The main reason it pisses me off is because its pretty clear the vast majority of these girls only claim to be in love with love him because its suddenly the cool thing to do. The whole gentleman, dark and complicated, yet charming vampire routine has been done 1000 times over... Actually, I think Twilight stole the plot from a porn movie I watched in 9th grade with my friend and just took out all the sex scenes. The book just so happen to catch on like a boy band or any other trend. .. In my eyes he is no different than Furbys or Hanson.
Okay, so you think its a good book... fine. You like the character...great. But for suddenly form an unhealthy addiction to a guy which you probably would laugh at if you saw in real life is ridiculous. Would you really pretend to be that obsessed over him if Twilight was just some book you picked up that nobody else had heard of? No, of course not, your friends would think you were silly and rather insane.
In reality Edward Cullen would be the equivilent of a ***** emo panzy who wears sparkles and is hopped up on pain killers and crystal meth. Ironically he posseses some of the least desirable traits that women would have previously listed for a boyfriend. He is clingy, pale, cold and uncuddleable, overly-controlling, and most of all he can't have sex. Also, if I were to drive like him with a girl in the car I am positive I would get nothing but backseat driving barking in my ear to slow down.
Now, I am pretty sure that while Cullen may somehow look good on paper, if it were to come down between this whimsical fictionaly vampire fairy boi who is leading you on and won't touch you and..a real man who burps, farts, but can rail you until your eyes cave in yet is still caring and loving at the same time... it wouldn't even be a question that you'd choose the later. Sure you might say..."But if I were with Edward i wouldnt' need sex, hes soooo dreammy."
But I say... I haven't met a virgin girl since my senior year of highschool...everyone gets urges.
BTW, I would take Blade if I had to choose something for girls and me myself and all the guys reading this even you would choose Kate Beckinsale in Underworld vampire over one like this cullen tool anyday right. The whole badass vampire gone semi-good but still badass is so much more of a turn-on than the whole sparkly fairyprincess look at me plot.
In conclusion to this entirely too long rant... I basically cannot wait until this fad blows over and girls in evry country stop acting like stupid preadolescent fan girls with a boyband crush. (Reply back to me if you support my facts)
zuzu
By "ZuZu".
He asked me to put up his piece on my blog, and I felt like this was a serious epidemic that was spreading between the women on earth and had to be addressed.
~~~~
Sick of the whole, "OMG... I love Edward” thing!!
First, don't get me wrong, I am in no way jealous of a fictional vampire character.
However, I feel like I can't go anywhere anymore without some girl talking on the phone, or yapping up her friend about how much she loves Edward Cullen, and how much Edward Cullen has changed their lives. It is starting to piss me off on many levels. I mean, PLEASE STFU ALREADY!
The main reason it pisses me off is because its pretty clear the vast majority of these girls only claim to be in love with love him because its suddenly the cool thing to do. The whole gentleman, dark and complicated, yet charming vampire routine has been done 1000 times over... Actually, I think Twilight stole the plot from a porn movie I watched in 9th grade with my friend and just took out all the sex scenes. The book just so happen to catch on like a boy band or any other trend. .. In my eyes he is no different than Furbys or Hanson.
Okay, so you think its a good book... fine. You like the character...great. But for suddenly form an unhealthy addiction to a guy which you probably would laugh at if you saw in real life is ridiculous. Would you really pretend to be that obsessed over him if Twilight was just some book you picked up that nobody else had heard of? No, of course not, your friends would think you were silly and rather insane.
In reality Edward Cullen would be the equivilent of a ***** emo panzy who wears sparkles and is hopped up on pain killers and crystal meth. Ironically he posseses some of the least desirable traits that women would have previously listed for a boyfriend. He is clingy, pale, cold and uncuddleable, overly-controlling, and most of all he can't have sex. Also, if I were to drive like him with a girl in the car I am positive I would get nothing but backseat driving barking in my ear to slow down.
Now, I am pretty sure that while Cullen may somehow look good on paper, if it were to come down between this whimsical fictionaly vampire fairy boi who is leading you on and won't touch you and..a real man who burps, farts, but can rail you until your eyes cave in yet is still caring and loving at the same time... it wouldn't even be a question that you'd choose the later. Sure you might say..."But if I were with Edward i wouldnt' need sex, hes soooo dreammy."
But I say... I haven't met a virgin girl since my senior year of highschool...everyone gets urges.
BTW, I would take Blade if I had to choose something for girls and me myself and all the guys reading this even you would choose Kate Beckinsale in Underworld vampire over one like this cullen tool anyday right. The whole badass vampire gone semi-good but still badass is so much more of a turn-on than the whole sparkly fairyprincess look at me plot.
In conclusion to this entirely too long rant... I basically cannot wait until this fad blows over and girls in evry country stop acting like stupid preadolescent fan girls with a boyband crush. (Reply back to me if you support my facts)
zuzu
Mar 5, 2009
Wrathful, much?
I think it's fucking delightful, when people care more about what others think of them and don't have an honest opinion about themselves, and when they just love butting their noses into other people's affairs. And the whole 'holier than thou' thing.
Fuck everyone mentioned above.
Feb 28, 2009
Google Chrome.
My PM on Windows Live Messenger says; "Google Chrome > Mozilla Firefox" and a friend recently thought it his priority to say how wrong it was. Not by providing any schema or hypothesis, no, but rather by suggesting I would also think his foot up my arse was better too. If that makes any sense.
However, I like explaining myself, out of the sheer belief that I am right no matter what, and I have proof all the time to back it up.
See, I started using Firefox, back in it's Beta days, and I spread the word like a wildfire in a forest, arguing how much better Firefox was/still is better than Internet Explorer. So now that I suggest Google Chrome to have the upper hand, it has to be shocking.
But I believe in taking concepts not thought of, and then upping them one. That's what Google Chrome has done.
Here are some features Google Chrome has that make it oh-so-much-more-delightful:
- Tabbed Browsing. The feature that pulled everyone to firefox, and even prompted Microsoft to introduce in the latest IE installment. But Google Chrome takes it even further, when you can drag a tab out of it's designated position, for it to turn into a completely new window. Why would you want to do that? Consider this; you've opened up so many tabs, and don't want to get lost in the midst of them. I know, tabs were introduced so you keep track of windows easier, but being the multi-tasking, open-in new tab, user that I am, I also manage to get lost in all the tabs that I start running all at once. And therefore, this new trick is very innovative, indeed.
- I like working around in Ubuntu - the Linux Distro for newbies, and one feature I specially love about Ubuntu is how every data field that you place the writing cursor on gets highlighted and gives out a yellow glow. Even if this option isn't completely necessary, it just adds a little eye-candy to the mix, and makes it so much easier to keep track of where you're going to type in the text. And Google Chrome has the same feature.
- Resizable text fields. That's right, take the comment text field on Youtube.com for example. You can actually drag and resize the text field. Everyone that just loves customizing and doing things you're way ; rejoice.
- Faster. Yes, Faster. Google Chrome starts running within seconds, and CTRL+T opens up a new Tab faster than you can say "peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers."
- It's prettier. The default Google Chrome theme is minimalistic, the tabs are very neatly placed ABOVE the address bar rather than under it, the GUI isn't cluttered with icons, and it looks so much more neater.
- You press CTRL+F to search for text on a webpage, and instead of popping out in the middle of nowhere, or even at the bottom, it slides out from under the address bar. It slides out, as to not create any sudden distractions. And it's not that slow, gradual-slide. It's the super fast, blink and you miss it, slide. It's ingenious!
- You write "images.google.com" into the address bar in Google Chrome, and hit Tab. Then you enter the term you want to search for directly into the address bar and hit enter, and that's it. You end up straight at the image search results page, rather than going to the images page and entering your search criteria. Same goes for Google.com. Significantly eliminates a small step, that takes just a second for me to perform, but many people will love this feature, when they realize it exists.
Those are just a few of the features that Google Chrome has managed to 'better' when it comes to Web Browsing.
But why take only my word for it? Go ahead and try Google Chrome and see and/or decide for yourself.
Feb 27, 2009
Jerry Springer.
I can't decide who's the bigger dumbass here. Jerry Springer, or the people that take part in his mindless fiesco, called The Jerry Springer show.
I don't get it. I'm not even going to discuss it, I'm just going to express what I think of Jerry Springer and everyone that shows up on the show, either to make complete dumb-f*cks of themselves, or to laugh about the dumb-f*cks;
All foam. no beer.
All hammer, no nail.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
The lights are on, but nobody's home.
24 cents short of a quarter.
Proof that evolution can go in reverse as well.
How stupid can people be?!
Feb 19, 2009
"Bullshit"
Here's something Wijdan recently said about me on his blog*;
Aah, the joy of remembering your skills at selling Ice to Eskimos.
I have to try to wonder though. How do I come up with bullshit, in the first place? I don't consider it to be bullshit, hell, I don't even start up by looking for bullshit. In my head, the criteria for the search isn't 'bullshit'. I just observe, observe some more, realize, and write about it! So in that context, we live in a bull-shitty world! I'm just a very keen observer of bullshit, but why shouldn't I be, when there's bullshit all around us?
Bullshit wars and politics, bullshit rules, laws, and regulations. Bullshit attitudes from almost everyone alive.
Let me try to describe the word bullshit in greater detail so we can eliminate any assumptions.
Bullshit:- A statement made without regard for its truth, accuracy, or veracity. A bull shit statement is distinguished from a lie because a lie is a knowing falsehood, while bull shit simply does not care whether it is true or false.
In that context, I don't bullshit!! Not a lot, at least. Because my points to my bullshit, render my bullshit, bullshit-less. Then it's just shit! Rly good, shit.
But we do live in a bull-shitty world.
Bull-shitty politics, everywhere. It's like, Bullshit can actually be a synonym for the word Politics. In future editions of Thesauruses and Dictionaries, I wouldn't be surprised if it is.
And to further connect our lives to bullshit, let's agree to the fact that we are all joined together by Bullshit. The six degrees of bullshit, if I may.
People express bullshit feelings for you all the time, make bullshit remarks, comments and statements. Infidelity is at an all time high in the world - the perfect example of how we all share Bullshit, and how it's common in all our lives.
Lies, two-facedness, omission of key points in the narration of events, delusion. It goes without saying, those terms can all be categorized in the Bullshit section.
And therefore, Yes, I do bullshit. Bullshit is my primary key subject, when I blog. And how can I prevent it to be? Bullshit brings people together.
We, humans, as an organization are all working with the concept of Bullshit. Involuntarily, maybe, but it's a key aspect in all our lives. In the business we lead, be it financial, social, or anything else in between the thin faded lines.
Therefore - Bullshit is greater than, or equal to, everything else.
* Seven - 'For No Reason At All'
"Kultman again! Again, the reason I started blogging. With Danish, always expect directed insanity. Usually he comes up with complete bullshit, but he makes amazing points with his bullshit. There are only a few people whose MSN windows I am ever ready to double-click. I love his quirky comments and witty remarks and the insane talks we've recently been having."
Aah, the joy of remembering your skills at selling Ice to Eskimos.
I have to try to wonder though. How do I come up with bullshit, in the first place? I don't consider it to be bullshit, hell, I don't even start up by looking for bullshit. In my head, the criteria for the search isn't 'bullshit'. I just observe, observe some more, realize, and write about it! So in that context, we live in a bull-shitty world! I'm just a very keen observer of bullshit, but why shouldn't I be, when there's bullshit all around us?
Bullshit wars and politics, bullshit rules, laws, and regulations. Bullshit attitudes from almost everyone alive.
Let me try to describe the word bullshit in greater detail so we can eliminate any assumptions.
Bullshit:- A statement made without regard for its truth, accuracy, or veracity. A bull shit statement is distinguished from a lie because a lie is a knowing falsehood, while bull shit simply does not care whether it is true or false.
In that context, I don't bullshit!! Not a lot, at least. Because my points to my bullshit, render my bullshit, bullshit-less. Then it's just shit! Rly good, shit.
But we do live in a bull-shitty world.
Bull-shitty politics, everywhere. It's like, Bullshit can actually be a synonym for the word Politics. In future editions of Thesauruses and Dictionaries, I wouldn't be surprised if it is.
And to further connect our lives to bullshit, let's agree to the fact that we are all joined together by Bullshit. The six degrees of bullshit, if I may.
People express bullshit feelings for you all the time, make bullshit remarks, comments and statements. Infidelity is at an all time high in the world - the perfect example of how we all share Bullshit, and how it's common in all our lives.
Lies, two-facedness, omission of key points in the narration of events, delusion. It goes without saying, those terms can all be categorized in the Bullshit section.
And therefore, Yes, I do bullshit. Bullshit is my primary key subject, when I blog. And how can I prevent it to be? Bullshit brings people together.
We, humans, as an organization are all working with the concept of Bullshit. Involuntarily, maybe, but it's a key aspect in all our lives. In the business we lead, be it financial, social, or anything else in between the thin faded lines.
Therefore - Bullshit is greater than, or equal to, everything else.
* Seven - 'For No Reason At All'
Feb 17, 2009
The only way math can be useful.
I am proud to announce that, even though I feel like I'm surrounded by idiots most of the time, I have managed to meet some very clever people in my lifetime.
I present to you a conversation I had a minute ago, with my friend Wijdan.
ȣ says:
*HAHAHAHHA
*wet chicks be hot chicks. 8-)
Danish says:
*universal law that be
*wet chicks = hot chicks
*wet chicks are greater than, or equal to, hot chicks.
ȣ says:
*mathematically, it can also be denoted by two sets, W and H, where W is a subset of H.
so while all wet chicks are hot, all hot chicks are not wet.
Danish says:
*lol
*touche'
*lol
ȣ says:
*no mess in maths ;)
Danish says:
*This deserves to go on my blog.
ȣ says:
*mine too!
Aah, life is so much better when you have the little things sorted out.
(Here is Wijdan's blog, titled "Seven - For No Reason At All.")
I present to you a conversation I had a minute ago, with my friend Wijdan.
ȣ says:
*HAHAHAHHA
*wet chicks be hot chicks. 8-)
Danish says:
*universal law that be
*wet chicks = hot chicks
*wet chicks are greater than, or equal to, hot chicks.
ȣ says:
*mathematically, it can also be denoted by two sets, W and H, where W is a subset of H.
so while all wet chicks are hot, all hot chicks are not wet.
Danish says:
*lol
*touche'
*lol
ȣ says:
*no mess in maths ;)
Danish says:
*This deserves to go on my blog.
ȣ says:
*mine too!
Aah, life is so much better when you have the little things sorted out.
(Here is Wijdan's blog, titled "Seven - For No Reason At All.")
Feb 5, 2009
Self Therapy
I am officially depressed now. Why? Don't ask. Maybe I'm homesick, maybe I miss my friends, but whatever it is, it's brought my insomnia back. Woohoo.
But I've finally found a solution; I need to tire myself out completely, until my body gives up. Until it is literally impossible for me to stay awake. Only then can I fall asleep. And it works, too. I tried it out just yesterday, and slept like a baby. A baby having a very ugly nightmare, but sleeping is the main point of my argument here.
I was sitting in the college cafeteria today, and I felt the loneliest I have ever felt. I had slept for only 4 hours so I put my head down on the table, and listened to people all around the cafeteria talk and share laughter. The only humane interaction I had, was when every once in a while someone came along to ask if they could borrow chairs from the table. Until there were no chairs left. And then that stopped too.
I'm doing well in my classes, and I feel my real potential is being finally sparked. No longer am I a working-class student, finally.
And what exactly is bothering me? I don't know. I really don't. It's in the corner of my head, where I keep all the information I don't like to share with the rest of the world. Didn't know that? Now you do; I have a place in my head that has things that only I know, and feelings that I don't like sharing with people. It's a gemini thing, I think. And apparently, even I can't get in. It's like I forgot the password or misplaced the key, or something. I love metaphors.
Apart from that, I finally have internet at the apartement, so yay. I can write on my blog again!
My english professor, after reading the paper I handed in, called me "Guile." Quickly adding that he meant Guile in a good way. I think that is awesome.
I'm going to call it a night, I am too tired to even write ... thanks for coming, though.
But I've finally found a solution; I need to tire myself out completely, until my body gives up. Until it is literally impossible for me to stay awake. Only then can I fall asleep. And it works, too. I tried it out just yesterday, and slept like a baby. A baby having a very ugly nightmare, but sleeping is the main point of my argument here.
I was sitting in the college cafeteria today, and I felt the loneliest I have ever felt. I had slept for only 4 hours so I put my head down on the table, and listened to people all around the cafeteria talk and share laughter. The only humane interaction I had, was when every once in a while someone came along to ask if they could borrow chairs from the table. Until there were no chairs left. And then that stopped too.
I'm doing well in my classes, and I feel my real potential is being finally sparked. No longer am I a working-class student, finally.
And what exactly is bothering me? I don't know. I really don't. It's in the corner of my head, where I keep all the information I don't like to share with the rest of the world. Didn't know that? Now you do; I have a place in my head that has things that only I know, and feelings that I don't like sharing with people. It's a gemini thing, I think. And apparently, even I can't get in. It's like I forgot the password or misplaced the key, or something. I love metaphors.
Apart from that, I finally have internet at the apartement, so yay. I can write on my blog again!
My english professor, after reading the paper I handed in, called me "Guile." Quickly adding that he meant Guile in a good way. I think that is awesome.
I'm going to call it a night, I am too tired to even write ... thanks for coming, though.
Jan 28, 2009
Benefits, and the Doubts.
Life is suddenly very depressing. For the moment only, I know that much. But it still is. I can't quite put my finger on it either.
Maybe it's just a moodswing that I'm have, thanks to Bipolar Disorder. Or maybe it's because I'm still getting used to being so far away from the life that I was used to and was living for, well, all of it till now. It is NOT easy to change lifestyles like I have. Really. Specially when the place you're moving to is Completely different than the place you came from. And quite literally on the other side of the world.
But I'm coping, I guess. I opted to, didn't I? Or have now, anyway. It's weird really. When I get thoughts like "What was I thinking?!", because almost instantly I remember my pledge to 'never regret a thing'. It's hard, contradicting yourself, having an arguement inside your head. It's like Stephen King said in this novel of his I've been reading, called Cell. The protagonist refers to times like these, as the times where the rat that's held inside the cage in his head gets free and starts nibbling at things. And he wants not that rat to get out of the cage. And In that light I guess, I'm trying to keep my rat in it's cage too. And God, do I hate rats. Metaphoric and real, alike.
I have taken care of all my problems concerning college. Gotten my schedule, and my classes straight. Taken care of the money I had to pay the bloodsuckers, and am content when it comes to that. But as soon as a window closes, a door opens, isn't it? And it's ironic that preachers and priests use that line so many times, but no one wonders or asks what those doors and windows really signify. Maybe new opportunities and a new sense of optimism, sure, but what stops those doors and windows to just, participate in the hectic cycle of life? I believe everyone goes through the same difficulties, takes the same tests everyone else takes in life. They're just under different cicrumstances, and you can't really see unless you stop looking at the many obstacles involved, and focus on the bigger picture; We are living an exam. Yes, college students around the world, we really are. Pity.
I was coming out of a building in college today for a cigarette, and this man talking on a bluetooth headset came out right behind me and said Assalam Aliaikum. I said Wallaikum Assalam and continued walking, reaching in my pockets for the pack of Marlboro Lights. The man, in his mid thirties probably, hadn't shaved for a few days apparently, and wore moderate clothes. African-American, and Muslim, apparently. He quickly caught my attention, asking me if I was muslim. I said, yeah, I was. He grabbed my hand, introduced himself, and started asking for mine. I told him my name, and guess what? As soon as I did, he started his story. Telling me about how his car broke down, something about the police, a Muslim foundation nearby, and his pregnant wife. In between were chunks of Allah - Praising. And at the end of his monlogue? Money asking. And I swear, I felt like I was hypnotized. I just couldn't do anything. Maybe it was a mind trick he played on me, maybe my hands were held (or actually not so much) because they reached for my wallet without my complete consent. I couldn't do anything. I opened my wallet and handed him 20 dollars. I didn't want to, five minutes later, I'm being honest. But I did it, the minute he said I should. I should because he's a muslim in need. And I should in the name of God. But I don't really think that's the only reason I did what I did. Hell, to be completely honest, I don't even think It was me who pulled that 20 dollar bill out and handed it to a complete stranger. He actually jumped with joy, praising the skies, thanking me only once, but thanking the All Mighty a million times, walking off and fading in the horizon. After I watched him go, I looked up to the sky and a voice in my head said : You better be looking.
Then came the cigarette, and the wondering why that man Really needed the money. I wish for my sake, and more for his actually, that his story Was actually true. Even if I didn't even hear much of it. And I hoped, that because I gave away money when I had enough to spend, that when I run out of it, I wouldn't have to go through what this man was going through. No matter what it was. Because he wouldn't really be asking for money if he had any, no matter what he needs it for. i jus t never want to be in that position.
Was that man lying? Was he jumping for joy over the thought of how much crack or marijuana he could buy now? Or did he really need that money for whatever reasons he gave while I was trying to figure out how long it would take for him to leave me smoke in peace? I will never find out. And neither will you people, will you? Congratulations, you've been involuntarily entered in this riddle I came across.
How do you know that all this actually did happen? We just have to grant the benefit of the doubt sometimes, don't we. And that is how, I think, we all minimize - or ignore- acknowledging that we live through so many lies ... I don't lie though. Because the punishment for lying, isn't hell. Not until we witness afterlife anyway. In this life? The punishment you get for lying, is simple. Simple enough for one quote to explain it; "A thief thinks the whole world steals."
And I'm just not too big on stealing.
Maybe it's just a moodswing that I'm have, thanks to Bipolar Disorder. Or maybe it's because I'm still getting used to being so far away from the life that I was used to and was living for, well, all of it till now. It is NOT easy to change lifestyles like I have. Really. Specially when the place you're moving to is Completely different than the place you came from. And quite literally on the other side of the world.
But I'm coping, I guess. I opted to, didn't I? Or have now, anyway. It's weird really. When I get thoughts like "What was I thinking?!", because almost instantly I remember my pledge to 'never regret a thing'. It's hard, contradicting yourself, having an arguement inside your head. It's like Stephen King said in this novel of his I've been reading, called Cell. The protagonist refers to times like these, as the times where the rat that's held inside the cage in his head gets free and starts nibbling at things. And he wants not that rat to get out of the cage. And In that light I guess, I'm trying to keep my rat in it's cage too. And God, do I hate rats. Metaphoric and real, alike.
I have taken care of all my problems concerning college. Gotten my schedule, and my classes straight. Taken care of the money I had to pay the bloodsuckers, and am content when it comes to that. But as soon as a window closes, a door opens, isn't it? And it's ironic that preachers and priests use that line so many times, but no one wonders or asks what those doors and windows really signify. Maybe new opportunities and a new sense of optimism, sure, but what stops those doors and windows to just, participate in the hectic cycle of life? I believe everyone goes through the same difficulties, takes the same tests everyone else takes in life. They're just under different cicrumstances, and you can't really see unless you stop looking at the many obstacles involved, and focus on the bigger picture; We are living an exam. Yes, college students around the world, we really are. Pity.
I was coming out of a building in college today for a cigarette, and this man talking on a bluetooth headset came out right behind me and said Assalam Aliaikum. I said Wallaikum Assalam and continued walking, reaching in my pockets for the pack of Marlboro Lights. The man, in his mid thirties probably, hadn't shaved for a few days apparently, and wore moderate clothes. African-American, and Muslim, apparently. He quickly caught my attention, asking me if I was muslim. I said, yeah, I was. He grabbed my hand, introduced himself, and started asking for mine. I told him my name, and guess what? As soon as I did, he started his story. Telling me about how his car broke down, something about the police, a Muslim foundation nearby, and his pregnant wife. In between were chunks of Allah - Praising. And at the end of his monlogue? Money asking. And I swear, I felt like I was hypnotized. I just couldn't do anything. Maybe it was a mind trick he played on me, maybe my hands were held (or actually not so much) because they reached for my wallet without my complete consent. I couldn't do anything. I opened my wallet and handed him 20 dollars. I didn't want to, five minutes later, I'm being honest. But I did it, the minute he said I should. I should because he's a muslim in need. And I should in the name of God. But I don't really think that's the only reason I did what I did. Hell, to be completely honest, I don't even think It was me who pulled that 20 dollar bill out and handed it to a complete stranger. He actually jumped with joy, praising the skies, thanking me only once, but thanking the All Mighty a million times, walking off and fading in the horizon. After I watched him go, I looked up to the sky and a voice in my head said : You better be looking.
Then came the cigarette, and the wondering why that man Really needed the money. I wish for my sake, and more for his actually, that his story Was actually true. Even if I didn't even hear much of it. And I hoped, that because I gave away money when I had enough to spend, that when I run out of it, I wouldn't have to go through what this man was going through. No matter what it was. Because he wouldn't really be asking for money if he had any, no matter what he needs it for. i jus t never want to be in that position.
Was that man lying? Was he jumping for joy over the thought of how much crack or marijuana he could buy now? Or did he really need that money for whatever reasons he gave while I was trying to figure out how long it would take for him to leave me smoke in peace? I will never find out. And neither will you people, will you? Congratulations, you've been involuntarily entered in this riddle I came across.
How do you know that all this actually did happen? We just have to grant the benefit of the doubt sometimes, don't we. And that is how, I think, we all minimize - or ignore- acknowledging that we live through so many lies ... I don't lie though. Because the punishment for lying, isn't hell. Not until we witness afterlife anyway. In this life? The punishment you get for lying, is simple. Simple enough for one quote to explain it; "A thief thinks the whole world steals."
And I'm just not too big on stealing.
Jan 10, 2009
When there's nothing left to do...
I've accomplished all primary objectives, and I have nothing to do at all until some more decide to come out of the wood-work, as they have so far.
It's 7 in the morning, I haven't slept yet, and I was going through all the pictures from back home, Riyadh, and also the pictures I took in Pakistan.
I miss all the bastards back home! Hint; I do rly wish they would call. Considering how it's the weekend and all calls are free. For me, at least.
I tried putting up my artwork for sale on deviantart.com and to my disappointment, the artist only gets a minimum share on any sale. Weird, I know. And I can't rly expect anyone to buy things that I've made, to begin with, let alone get a whole dollar for them. A whole dollar! Woopsie do! That too if they give Deviantart 60 dollars, minus shipping. Aah, just my luck, the Corporate has shot me down once again.
But, love will find a way. My love for money, that is. I shall try my luck elsewhere!
More on that when (and if) it happens. Fingers crossed.
Beyonce's rant about putting a ring on things you like is stuck in my head, unfortunately. But luckily, it's accompanied by these very fine african-american ladies, dancing to the tune, which I got to witness in the Mall with my friend Adeel.
They rly work hard, I must say, getting all the dance steps right, just like Beyonce. And they're not bad to look at, either. Wow.
I'm not being Racist, I would say the same about all the other ''fine'' ladies of other ethincities, here in America. It's true, my theory ; only 20% of America is as good looking (unlike the media's portrayal), and that 20% is the all the people you get to see on TV. Other than that? Well, there's a reason not everyone gets to be on TV, right?
"If you like it, then you should've put a ring on it", sings Beyonce. And therefore, I wonder where I'm going to find that many rings. Maybe order in bulk, or something, and get them cheap.
It's 7 in the morning, I haven't slept yet, and I was going through all the pictures from back home, Riyadh, and also the pictures I took in Pakistan.
I miss all the bastards back home! Hint; I do rly wish they would call. Considering how it's the weekend and all calls are free. For me, at least.
I tried putting up my artwork for sale on deviantart.com and to my disappointment, the artist only gets a minimum share on any sale. Weird, I know. And I can't rly expect anyone to buy things that I've made, to begin with, let alone get a whole dollar for them. A whole dollar! Woopsie do! That too if they give Deviantart 60 dollars, minus shipping. Aah, just my luck, the Corporate has shot me down once again.
But, love will find a way. My love for money, that is. I shall try my luck elsewhere!
More on that when (and if) it happens. Fingers crossed.
Beyonce's rant about putting a ring on things you like is stuck in my head, unfortunately. But luckily, it's accompanied by these very fine african-american ladies, dancing to the tune, which I got to witness in the Mall with my friend Adeel.
They rly work hard, I must say, getting all the dance steps right, just like Beyonce. And they're not bad to look at, either. Wow.
I'm not being Racist, I would say the same about all the other ''fine'' ladies of other ethincities, here in America. It's true, my theory ; only 20% of America is as good looking (unlike the media's portrayal), and that 20% is the all the people you get to see on TV. Other than that? Well, there's a reason not everyone gets to be on TV, right?
"If you like it, then you should've put a ring on it", sings Beyonce. And therefore, I wonder where I'm going to find that many rings. Maybe order in bulk, or something, and get them cheap.
Jan 8, 2009
Hectic is an understatement.
This is probably going to be the first time that I actually blog on Paper first, and then publish it on the internet whenever I get the chance. Because I have no internet connection, remember?
I'm sitting outside my college's library (which I'm sure is my college now, but I wasn't too sure about an hour ago), and I feel much better now than I did, about an hour ago.
Remember my last post where I described my problem with registering for classes and getting a bank account? If not;
[ Apart from that, I haven't have been able to even get a bank account, and check this out; I need a Bank Account, so my Dad can send me money to register for classes, right? And for a Bank Account, I need a legit College ID. And how do I get a college ID? I can't unless I register for classes... I know, right? ]
And, not being able to come around that problem, I had to ask my dad to send me 6500 Dollars, through Western Union. Running with scissors, and micro-waving aluminium was next on my list. And that too, on the day that I had to actually Pay my complete semester fee in cold hearted Cash. Today!!!
So, I got up at around 12 (mind you, I couldn't sleep all night due to anxiety and got shut eye at about 5 in the morning). I got out of bed, and was brushing my teeth, when I get a call from my Dad, telling me he could only send 5000 dollars, that too through connections, due to laws in Saudi Arabia, preventing Pakistanis to send more than a 1000 dollars And preventing Sudi Nationals to send more than 5000.
So I said OK, maybe I'l lthink of something else and without even having breakfast, stopmed out for a Western Union. And I've slapped myself for deciding to go to the Western Union branch that was actually open in a supermarket. With a man at the front desk, who was most definately having mid-age crisis, graying hair, probably a dry streak in bed, and a very low IQ level.
Imagine my delight, when the dumbass at the counter informs me I'm going to need my passport (which I had) AND ANOTHER ID to get ANY money at all. That too, after he told me they wouldn't have the amount of 5000$ in cash. And get this. He wanted to give me some money first? The amount that I could, without any other ID? BUT, Then the brain-washing thanks to George W. Bush and traditional human stupidity kicked in, and he probably assumed I was going to fund a terrorist organization or something. So he didn't. He completely ignored the fact that he said he could give me 500 dollars a minute ago, and said "Sorry, I can't do anything anymore". And I swear, I think I only imagined it, but I could see a sweat drop behind his left eyebrow and a twitching-stuttering feeling in his speech and movement. I told him, I need to pay my damn college fee today! TODAY you ASSWIPE. But I also assume he doesn't know how a college works. Or what it is, for that matter.
Right then, the three bold letters, in caps all of them, going through my head were : WTF?!? (including those exclamation and question marks)
So I said, OK, fine (again) and walked out tearing up the WUnion form I had filled in (you should've seen it, it was so melodramatic, even the world melodramatic doesn't being to describe it) and decided that the best thing to do now would to take a leap of faith, and try to reason with the college authorities. How bad would it be? I just had no money for college tuition. And I needed to register in 2 hours. That's it, right? No biggie, right?
I made way to the college, hours before I was scheduled to, and met the International Students Advisor that I couldn't meet with even once, the numerous times I had actually been to the college the past month!
And Thank God, for her. As I sit outside the library right now, she has put my fee. on a hold for another week (and even apologized for all the trouble I had to go through), I'm going to go register for classes in about half an hour, come back tomorrow and get my ID made, open up a bank account, retrieve the 5000 dollars from the Western Union, and celebrate victory.
To sum up my feelings when I got so many bad news at once; Misery and Frustration.
To sum up all that I had that kept me going to achieve content; Just a little hope.
UPDATE: I write this part of this post, later that night as I am about to hit bed (because I had to copy the blog post from paper to my laptop) and I'm adding this update for some even better news: I SCORED THE HIGHEST ON MY PLACEMENT TEST. THEY JUMPED ME STRAIGHT TO BEING A REGULAR COLLEGE STUDENT, INSTEAD OF AN ESL STUDENT LIKE THE OTHER 20+ STUDENTS THAT TOOK THE TEST WITH ME. EVEN THE AUTHORITIES DIDN'T BELIEVE IT AT FIRST! YAY!!! AND JUST ME, TOO, EVERYONE ELSE HAD TO SIT THROUGH AN ORIENTATION WHILE I ACTUALLY MET WITH A SEPERATE COUNSELLOR 30 MINUTES BEFORE ANYONE ELSE GOT TO =D.
Oh, and I met some people after the registration was done? A pakistani chick, who's been living here for 4 years, and this other dude that's also a non-native student, and they were both amazed that I actually spoke English, because I was pakistani. And so good at that, that I actually got directly to English 101 while everyone else had to take starter courses. Even before English 101. Starter with a capital S. The pakistani girl, her mouth literally turned into the shape of the letter O when I told her I'm from Pakistan and got into America a week or two ago. Literally. The questions I got after droping that surprise on them? "How is your accent american, and how did you score so much better??"
Low expectations from Pakistanis much, or just stupid Pakistanis not rly setting the bar any high anywhere in the world?
I think the latter, and then the former as a reaction to the very stupid action. But then again, I don't think we even have a bar to begin with, placing it anywhere is just outlandish then.
- Danish
Jan 2, 2009
The Good Things In Life?
Life is an adventure. So, I've experienced living completely alone, in a relatively-unknown place, for more than a week.
Something I am liking about this lifestyle? You really can't be too sure what's going to happen next. There are no plans, except immediate ones. And I never really know what to expect. So yay.
Something I don't like? I haven't had a proper social interaction with another human being in more than a week. Which is kinda depressing, to be honest.
Here are some of the things I have to go through!
I had a rat infestation in the apartment. Three rats, to be exact. Two, have been missing for the past few days (hope I don't jinx that) and one of them I had to literally throw out. How did I manage that? Well, the sneaky bastards were smart. I would leave bread or any other edible substance, stuck to the mouse trap, but they would manage to eat it and the trap wouldn't even go off. I found this other trap, which was nearly impossible to set, and went off on my hand around 5 times, and when I found it the other day, it had actually gone off, but the piece of bread was missing and so was any carcass of a dead mouse.
But then, came a stroke of good luck. I cleaned out the waste baskets, and set a new trash bag. And what the mice would do, they would climb inside, devour any left over food they could get their filthy hands (or whatever it is mice have) and then climb back out due to the lots of trash in the bin. But, that day, there were only a few crumbs of pizza crust. And therefore no leverage to climb out. I walk into the kitchen, lights closed and all, at 2 or 3 in the morning, and I hear a mouse moving around in the waste basket. My first idea was to grab a broom and kill the bastard as soon as it came out of the bin. But to my surprise, he actually couldn't! So I just wrapped up the top of the trash bag and chucked it out of the door, into the cruel, cold night, hoping for the bastard's demise. Which it might've come. Or, it might have sneaked into someone else's house, but bottom line, I got rid of my problem.
Second problem that I have been having; stupid American telecom companies actually charge for wireless service on your cell phone, even if you are just attending the call and are at the recieving end. Your so-called talk-time minutes run out, even if you're on the phone against your will. Corporate cruelty, I say. So I have been running on just 30 minutes for the past week. How do I manage? Well, Saturdays and Sundays are Free as well as anytime after 9PM and before 6AM. But come on, what if I have to make calls at other times?
I don't have a social security number or a STATE ID, with which I could get my own postpaid plan, because all offices have been shut due to the never-ending december-jan holiday session.
Apart from that, I haven't have been able to even get a bank account, and check this out; I need a Bank Account, so my Dad can send me money to register for classes, right? And for a Bank Account, I need a legit College ID. And how do I get a college ID? I can't unless I register for classes... I know, right?
Also, my friend has been running internet by these mysterious wireless signals that crossed paths with the apartment. But for the past 4 days, that mysterious Wi-Fi provider has been missing in action. Literally, missing. Completely off the radar. However, I do get signals if I sit outside the apartment window, on the sheltering roof of the people living below us, in the very, very cold.
And just how cold is it, you ask? Freezing. And I'm not just being melodramatic or cliche'. My first few days here? I actually saw ice a thin layer of Ice around the sewers.
In fact, if I leave a glass of water outside my window? I'm willing to bet I can have ice in a few hours.
So how do I use the fine technology we have come to accept, called the internet? The blessing, known as a free public library. Thank God for these. I can't believe a mayor, or some other big-wig here in Philly, actually wanted to cut fundings for public libraries! Insanity, I tell you.
I'm surviving on microwavable, frozen dinners, and expensive Chinese and Italian take-outs. Oh, and Coldplay. And the news anchor on Fox 29's news at 11 isn't bad either. Keri something something.
I have fallen in love with Eva Mendes though, so be shush about Keri, everyone. Ever since I saw The Spirit on the big screen that is.
One thing I loved though, how my street became so lively as soon as clocks struck 12 on New Year's Eve. I even went out on the roof I was talking about, a pan and big spoon in hand, striking it in harmony and yelling out "Happy New Year".
The good things in life are, actually, free. Except for an Eva Mendes or a Laptop, though.
Something I am liking about this lifestyle? You really can't be too sure what's going to happen next. There are no plans, except immediate ones. And I never really know what to expect. So yay.
Something I don't like? I haven't had a proper social interaction with another human being in more than a week. Which is kinda depressing, to be honest.
Here are some of the things I have to go through!
I had a rat infestation in the apartment. Three rats, to be exact. Two, have been missing for the past few days (hope I don't jinx that) and one of them I had to literally throw out. How did I manage that? Well, the sneaky bastards were smart. I would leave bread or any other edible substance, stuck to the mouse trap, but they would manage to eat it and the trap wouldn't even go off. I found this other trap, which was nearly impossible to set, and went off on my hand around 5 times, and when I found it the other day, it had actually gone off, but the piece of bread was missing and so was any carcass of a dead mouse.
But then, came a stroke of good luck. I cleaned out the waste baskets, and set a new trash bag. And what the mice would do, they would climb inside, devour any left over food they could get their filthy hands (or whatever it is mice have) and then climb back out due to the lots of trash in the bin. But, that day, there were only a few crumbs of pizza crust. And therefore no leverage to climb out. I walk into the kitchen, lights closed and all, at 2 or 3 in the morning, and I hear a mouse moving around in the waste basket. My first idea was to grab a broom and kill the bastard as soon as it came out of the bin. But to my surprise, he actually couldn't! So I just wrapped up the top of the trash bag and chucked it out of the door, into the cruel, cold night, hoping for the bastard's demise. Which it might've come. Or, it might have sneaked into someone else's house, but bottom line, I got rid of my problem.
Second problem that I have been having; stupid American telecom companies actually charge for wireless service on your cell phone, even if you are just attending the call and are at the recieving end. Your so-called talk-time minutes run out, even if you're on the phone against your will. Corporate cruelty, I say. So I have been running on just 30 minutes for the past week. How do I manage? Well, Saturdays and Sundays are Free as well as anytime after 9PM and before 6AM. But come on, what if I have to make calls at other times?
I don't have a social security number or a STATE ID, with which I could get my own postpaid plan, because all offices have been shut due to the never-ending december-jan holiday session.
Apart from that, I haven't have been able to even get a bank account, and check this out; I need a Bank Account, so my Dad can send me money to register for classes, right? And for a Bank Account, I need a legit College ID. And how do I get a college ID? I can't unless I register for classes... I know, right?
Also, my friend has been running internet by these mysterious wireless signals that crossed paths with the apartment. But for the past 4 days, that mysterious Wi-Fi provider has been missing in action. Literally, missing. Completely off the radar. However, I do get signals if I sit outside the apartment window, on the sheltering roof of the people living below us, in the very, very cold.
And just how cold is it, you ask? Freezing. And I'm not just being melodramatic or cliche'. My first few days here? I actually saw ice a thin layer of Ice around the sewers.
In fact, if I leave a glass of water outside my window? I'm willing to bet I can have ice in a few hours.
So how do I use the fine technology we have come to accept, called the internet? The blessing, known as a free public library. Thank God for these. I can't believe a mayor, or some other big-wig here in Philly, actually wanted to cut fundings for public libraries! Insanity, I tell you.
I'm surviving on microwavable, frozen dinners, and expensive Chinese and Italian take-outs. Oh, and Coldplay. And the news anchor on Fox 29's news at 11 isn't bad either. Keri something something.
I have fallen in love with Eva Mendes though, so be shush about Keri, everyone. Ever since I saw The Spirit on the big screen that is.
One thing I loved though, how my street became so lively as soon as clocks struck 12 on New Year's Eve. I even went out on the roof I was talking about, a pan and big spoon in hand, striking it in harmony and yelling out "Happy New Year".
The good things in life are, actually, free. Except for an Eva Mendes or a Laptop, though.
Dec 21, 2008
Philadelphia.
Wow. It's been quite some time since I've posted anything on my blog, and I have something I can blame it all on. I had no time! I have been busy, busy busy. Got my american visa, got tickets, and flew already! I'm blogging from Philadelphia =D
Oh, and in my last post, I was showing off about how people have created blogs because they liked mine. Add two more to that list =D. Yay. And if you, reading right now, don't have a blog? Get one. Now.
Moving on, I've noticed some things I'm really enjoying about Philadelphia;
1. Every little piece of information you can possibly need about Philadelphia, getting around, what's on tv, what to eat, you can get on the internet.
2. I ordered food on the internet yesterday. I got food delivered to my doorstep via the internet!
3. I have an address. And if I need to tell someone where I live? I don't tell them to take this right from that hospital, or that left before this traffic light. I give them an address and they know exactly where to come, just by a set of numbers and a few words. Voila!
4. Maxim, FHM, Stuff, Penthouse, Playboy. That is all.
Those are some things I am loving, more as they come =D
I can't blog about how life is at the moment, I've made up a lot of theories in my head, learnt quiet a lot, and experienced even more, but I guess that'll all have to wait till I'm in the mood for wisdom-sharing. Happy Holidays! lol.
Oh, and in my last post, I was showing off about how people have created blogs because they liked mine. Add two more to that list =D. Yay. And if you, reading right now, don't have a blog? Get one. Now.
Moving on, I've noticed some things I'm really enjoying about Philadelphia;
1. Every little piece of information you can possibly need about Philadelphia, getting around, what's on tv, what to eat, you can get on the internet.
2. I ordered food on the internet yesterday. I got food delivered to my doorstep via the internet!
3. I have an address. And if I need to tell someone where I live? I don't tell them to take this right from that hospital, or that left before this traffic light. I give them an address and they know exactly where to come, just by a set of numbers and a few words. Voila!
4. Maxim, FHM, Stuff, Penthouse, Playboy. That is all.
Those are some things I am loving, more as they come =D
I can't blog about how life is at the moment, I've made up a lot of theories in my head, learnt quiet a lot, and experienced even more, but I guess that'll all have to wait till I'm in the mood for wisdom-sharing. Happy Holidays! lol.
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