Aug 26, 2012

Addiction.

"Welcome to addiction. In all reality, it’s not explicitly selfish. You realize you’re killing yourself but you don’t have enough self worth to beat the craving-reward mechanism, usually because of an underlying depression that is related to, and fueled by, some source of guilt/shame. It quickly develops into a self-reinforcing spiral of self-loathing that drives you to your drug of choice as an escape, which you can’t resist because you just don’t have enough self-worth to muster the will to stop, and worse, you’re cognizant of that lack of self-worth. That only legitimizes the self-loathing in your head and further deepens the depression and isolation, because who in their right-fucking-mind would actually want to spend time with you? Anyone who does is obviously too selfless and decent to deserve the load of shit that is your worthless life, but-you’re-just-so-lonely-and-the-only-way-to-distract-yourself-is-to-do-the-one-thing-that-overwhelms-all-other-thought-processes-anyway… And that’s why you keep getting high and/or drunk."

fromkentucky on Reddit.

Aug 20, 2012

The trend



And every girl that I walk around
leaves a scar on my heart
for the next one to come along
and think she can mend

When she realizes she can't
and decides to give up
she leaves one of her own
thus continuing the trend

Aug 10, 2012

Traditional wet-shaving 101

You have the choice of either using a double edged razor, or a straight razor.

The advantages a double edge holds are, they're easier to use and you won't end up cutting yourself as easily. I say as easily, because I've lost a lot of blood to my double edge, and I only mean they're relatively safer than straight razors. Other than that, they have two sides and you can shave using the other side without having to rinse in between.

Wet-shaving is essentially the lost method of shaving used by our generation's grandfathers. Even our fathers had the fortunes of being introduced to Gillette's multiple blade shaving razors. You know, the ones that promise no razor bumps and close, smooth shaves. Along with shaving gel or foam, instead of the traditional soap.

Wet-shaving has it's own set of advantages. Other than being considered an "art" by several, call them hipsters if you absolutely must, you can't deny the health benefits. Wet shaving offer much closer and smoother shaves once you have the technique down. No ingrown hair, cleaner skin. Apart from the razor itself, wet-shaving entails using soap - free of things like alcohol and the several hundred other chemicals found in the gooey, canned shaving "gel."

Then, there's the zen element. To stand there and create a lather with a brush, apply it gently to your skin, and shave as slow as possible or risk blood loss and pain. But I'll get to that later, let's get started with what you're probably going to need.
A razor.
Isn't it just a beauty? Stainless steel, and chrome plated. I prefer double-edged, easier learning curve and they look like the razor blades you're probably used to by now, so they handle similarly. Pictured above is the one I use, and one of the best values for your money. The Edwin Jagger DE89L. The "L" stands for "lined," as you can probably notice from the picture above. The lines help with gripping the razor blade, and make it so that it doesn't end up slipping in your hand in between all that water and soap. That could prove to be disasterous, considering you're holding in your hands an extremely sharp blade.
Shaving bowl and brush.
Brushes come in two varities: Badger and Boar. They have their own set of advantages, and badger hair is more expansive than boar hair is, hence the brushes are too. I decided to get the Van Der Hagen shaving set, that  contains a boar hair brush, a very pretty shaving bowl, and Van Der Hagen shaving soap (which is actually pretty good.) The shaving set is pictured above and can be bought from a Walmart or Amazon.

PS: Having a shaving bowl is not the most important thing and you can do without, lots of people make lather on their hands. Other than that, the soap you see pictured above allows you to create a lather within the circular container, and don't need a bowl to make one.

Shaving Soap or Cream.
The one pictured above is Edwin Jagger's own shaving cream, which smells like a million dollars, by the way. Offers a really smooth and close shave, and you feel wonderful using it.

I bought my Edwin Jagger shaving set off the internet for around 60$. This includes the razor (figure 1,) the shaving cream (figure 3,) as well as two samples of shaving cream and one sample of after shave.

The thing with wet-shaving that is perhaps my most favorite attribute, is the endless choice. You can choose from several types of soaps and creams, a couple of different brushes, a variety of blades for your razor, etc.

Other things you might want to consider are for post-shaving:
  • Witch Hazel, or an Alum Block. To add a little comfort after moving a razor blade across your face. I have a Witch Hazel soap. Both these things act as astringents. 
  • Styptic Pencil. I own one of these, and they come in very handy. Plus they're extremely cheap. Use one on your nick, or cut, and it'll stop the bleeding right away, even if it hurts like a mother - that only means it's working.
  • After shave. There's a ton of different after shaves you can buy, but if you care about your skin as much as I like to think I do, you'll use something free of alcohol and relatively lighter on the chemicals. Like the Nivea Post Shave Balm for Sensitive skin. No alcohol, which is quite important, considering that alcohol dries out your skin and makes you look older than you are.
The procedure:

The first thing you'll want to consider is always shaving after a shower. There's two reasons for this:
  1. Showering will soften your facial hair and give it the hydration it needs. Otherwise you risk having your dry facial hair being stuck in between the razor and being pulled out rather than being shaved off. Trust me, that hurts.
  2. While you're taking a shower, you can fill up your shaving bowl with warm water and leave your brush in it. This hydrates the brush and it works way better on your facial hair than a dry brush would.
After you're done with your shower, rinse out the bowl, and shake off all the excess water from the brush. Gently take a a little shaving cream out of the container (typically the size of a pea on your finger,) and place it inside the bowl. Make sure there's no excess water either in the bowl, or the brush.

The ratio of water/soap depends largely on the shaver. You don't want too much water, or the soap won't hold on your skin and will be too runny. You don't want too little water, because then a good lather won't be made, and the point of lathering your facial hair is to hydrate it to begin with. This process is perfected only by trial and error. You need to find the perfect medium that suits you and for that you need to do it over and over.

With the brush, gently move it around the bowl in circular motions making sure you pick up all the cream or soap. Pretty much like whipping an egg, but far more gently. You don't want to do it too fast, or you risk hurting your brush. You don't want to do it too slow, because then a lather won't be made, or not as fast as you would like to anyway. Depends on how much time you're willing to put into shaving, of course.

While you're doing all this, it gives you the perfect opportunity to look yourself in the eyes, in the mirror, and think. Talk to yourself, take a breather. This is where the zen comes in. The minimalism, the lack of chemicals you're putting on your face.

After the lather is made, apply it to your face. Make sure to move the brush back and forth on your beard, because that's what the whole point is. This will hydrate your hair, and make it easier to shave off. Plus, it feels absolutely wonderful, granted that your lather is not too dry and not too watery. Once you find that perfect lather and have the hang of it, life won't ever be the same again.

After you're done lathering up, take your razor and hold it firmly. Now, realize that there are angles that you must move the razor blade in, up and down your face. These angles depend on what part of your face you're shaving on, and you can't necessarily be "taught" these angles, but have to pick up on them after trial and error. Just know that the blade has to be held at a certain angle to make it more effective, some say it's 45 degrees when you're shaving your cheeks.

I'm not going to say wet-shaving with a double or straight edge razor is a piece of cake. The first time I ever tried it, I didn't end up cutting myself, but my shave wasn't as great either. The second of third time, I cut myself horribly and bled a lot, but due to all that cutting and bleeding, I have learned how to shave properly.

Some things to remember; don't put any pressure or force on your razor. You are not using those piece of crap plastic razor blades anymore that don't weight anything. Double edge razors have a significant amount of weight to them, and this is by design. The weight of the blade will apply all the pressure the blade really needs to put on your face, if you keep insisting or pushing down on your face yourself, you will cut yourself, and cause razor burn.

Another thing to remember; you will have lots of lather in your bowl by now, even a small pea sized gallop of soap or cream goes a long way. This is good, because you'll need to make several passes on your face with the blade to ensure the same kind of shave you would get from a plastic piece of crap, and each pass requires you applying the remaining soap from the bowl to your face. Some might consider this, along with the time being taken, as a major disadvantage.

But it's not, once you consider that wet-shaving is a choice, and the end result is by far not the same as you would achieve from shaving with a plastic piece of crap.

Make sure you're patient. If you're not, wet shaving will teach it to you. Or you'll end up cutting yourself much more than you ever need to.

Post-shave procedures vary from people to people, so I'll tell you my own:

I wash off the remaining soap or cream with water, rinse it off my face.

Use the witch hazel soap, which burns and hurts a little, but that only means it's working, right? Remember, I said it's an astringent, which is the whole point of using it.

After the shave, and washing your face with an astringent, I prefer running ice cubes over my face. This is because you usually wet-shave with warm water, and that ends up stretching your skin and opening up your pores. The ice soothes the skin after the shave, cools down and relaxes it, and closes your pores. Other than all that, it just feels great.

Dry off your face. I don't use a traditional towel but rather just paper towels which are noticeably gentler on the face, especially after you've ran a razor blade all across it. 

Take a good amount of the Nivea "post-shave balm," (just a fancy way of saying after-shave cream,) and apply it gently to the face. My face usually turns bright red and pale, but the balm helps calming it down and not leaving it dry.

Now, it's time to clean out the brush, the bowl, and the razor blade. Never leave your razor blade wet, this expensive piece of equipment needs to be treated with respect and care. Always dry it with a towel, making sure you don't run the towel on the actual edges of the blade or it'll get ruined faster. If you don't, the stainless steel will get rust, and be rendered useless. 

Leaving the brush wet will also cut down it's life, hence rinse and shake off all the water it's still holding. It's also important to clear out the soap from the brush, leaving that in isn't good for the brush either. Make sure there's no soap left in by running it up and down your hand.

Cleaning the bowl is much easier than the other two things, it's very easy to tell if there's any soap in the bowl left or not, and it takes considerably lesser time.

Dry out everything, make sure it's all clean, and then put it all away.

After all of that is done, the only thing left to do is feel like a million dollars and enjoy yourself. 

Aug 1, 2012

Aawaragi.

It's weird, the phase I'm currently going through.

I made sure I stopped thinking about all my old flings, and crushes, and the several "ones that got away." But lately I feel I can't help it, and they end up in my dreams.

This one in particular was perhaps the prettiest of them all. I can still remember the dream, it was as vivid as daylight. With her huge round eyes, made to stand out with eyeliner. It felt like she was whispering every time she opened her mouth to speak.

Because her eyes were lighter and weren't dark brown like most people's are, the sunlight would gleam and reflect in them. They'd turn golden. Golden brown, in fact. The prettiest things I've perhaps ever seen.

It reminds me of the nicknames we had for each other, the things she would call me on the phone right before she would fall asleep. Or just pretended to, so she could hear me tell her incredibly pointless nothings.

When we'd argue, it'd be beautiful. The pain in my heart would assure me I'm alive, and that there exists something between us, otherwise we couldn't have cared less. They didn't last long, she couldn't stand me being mad at her for long. And if she was mad at me, I wouldn't let her stay mad at me for long either.

Things ended, but they weren't ugly for long. For that, I'm perhaps most appreciative. We've talked again, several times after. Discussed where we went wrong, made sure we each knew how much we cared for each other. Sometimes it's just the situation that makes things go awry.

It's way better that way, come to think of it. Much better than when people themselves decide to change courses overnight.

Then there are the regrets. Things I wish I had done differently.. things I wish I hadn't done at all.. some painful burdens that I will have to live with for the rest of my life. Be responsible for the heartache, and for the shaping of some poor soul. Blue on blue, heartache on heartache.

Some I've forgotten, and only remember when I try real hard to. We played silly games for a while, going back and forth on our own words, just unsure about what we wanted.

Should I wish I had done things differently? Sometimes I do. Other times I feel I wouldn't be true to myself if I did, and I've learned living with yourself is much harder sometimes.

It's perhaps time to stop regretting, and be glad I've experienced so much. Scars give you personality. I perhaps owe myself to all the women that have shaped me over the years. I can choose to be thankful in a lot of ways. Deep down inside, I can't help but feel they'll always remember too, and that I made sure of that somehow. By being unforgettable, in ways sometimes good, and sometimes not so much.

At the end of the day, I can only hope they're all happy. It's all I have ever wanted, not to sound too cliche or dramatic. Checking to make sure is a privilege I may or may not have, and that's another story.

People may not necessarily remember you by what you did, or what you said. But they will remember you by how you made them feel.

"Yeh dil, yeh pagal dil mera.. kyun bujh gaya? Aawaragi."

Guitar Sounds.

Came up with these guitar sounds a while ago, and they've been updated and altered quite a bit since then. I just decided to record it, and upload it on Soundcloud, so here you go:

http://soundcloud.com/daanisharif/guitar-sounds

PS: Don't go in expecting too much. Oh, and let me know what you think.