I don't get it. If life's a big joke ... I just don't get it ...

If I'm not having mood swings, I'm lost. That's how I define my life. OR that's just how I'm living it.

One second I'm happy ... the other, I'm looking for a way out ...

People like to call it Manic Depression ... this is just one of the stages ... I've read many creative people like to have this disease ... I'm not bragging, even when I have all rights to ... but I sure could do without, as I'm sure Sidney Sheldon could've too ...

But one thing's for sure ... writing takes it all out ... No matter who's going to read it or not, either listening to Heavy Metal or writing in a blog ... it's like drinking a red bull ... you get wings ... oh, and your mood swings in the happy corner ...

There's no sense of anxiety, like the kind you get when you have something exciting to do. Insomnia, Anxiety ... you all get it from thinking of one big thing that's going to happen. I'm not going to name that thing, but why the f does it happen, just when you could DO WITHOUT IT. Pick a later time or something! I'm thinking of something big to do here, and here it is. Anxiety, Insomnia, Depression ... aah, eff it. Maybe that's how it's supposed to be. When there's nothing hard in the way, you get all this. Just so you have to actually TRY TO GET SOMETHING even when it's just in front of you.

That's life I guess. Nothing comes without struggle.

And for people that get it without any hard work? They're just not happy. That's what people mean when they say 'money can't buy happiness' ... if you're working your ass off for that money, then there isn't anything sweeter then THAT happiness. Yes, Money CAN get you happiness. Just be willing to lose something in the process.

No pain no gain. To get something, you have to lose something. Come to think of it, EVERYTHING is like that. Everything, revolves around that simple rule. If you're not giving anything, then there's money. Just to make you lose something. SOMETHING HAS TO BE GIVEN and/or LOST, IN ORDER TO GET SOMETHING ... ANYTHING.

Time ... money ... hard work ... happiness ... it's all things life likes to take from you in order to give you some of the other.

You need happiness? You need to give Hard Work. It's like a shop. Yes, that's it. I finally know what life is.

LIFE is a freaking SHOP.

- Danish989.

ps : I'm a tempremental artist. Don't tempt me.

Back Home

It's been like a week, that I've been back from Pakistan. And although, I decided this time around that I won't get too attached to the place. But it's hard for me to keep my promise.

This is creepy, but I'm starting to like the place ... believe it or not ...

Maybe it's the constant state of nirvana, due to the absence of schedule. Or maybe I just love goofing off, who knows. But whatever it was, It worked.

I've changed. And that's not a bad thing.

Am I thinking of going back? Yes.

And that too, a.s.a.p. Maybe it's the freedom. Maybe it's the difference between these two worlds. But whatever it was ... It worked.

And now I can't think of anything. All the sugar I've consumed in the last week hasn't helped either ... I've blown it off by either jumping rope, or constantly button mashing the ps2.

Like that kickass Green Day song Holiday, everything good comes to an end soon. I just realized it late.

Everything is almost back to normal. The only thing that's stuck is me. And it doesn't seem to change how the rest of the world spins.

And why should it? Everyone has their own problems to think of. Who cares if that's the way it's supposed to be or not. It just is.

I came back to blogger, because I had a lot on my mind. And I'm glad I did. No one listens better than a journal. You can keep on talking ... a journal doesn't have it's own point of views ... only ones you give it in the first place ... your own ...

Aah, the feeling of being published ... just like the feeling of ownership and satisfaction that comes from owning books ... did I say that in another post before?

It's great ... I don't know how my 5 years would've gone without this blog.

If you're reading this, I owe you my Gratitude. You took out time to read my thoughts.

Thank You.

"We Are Only Restricted, By Our Own Stupidity"

- Danish989