Twenty years after 1989.

This is not how I planned it, no. In my mind I thought I'd be at home right now, after some 'fun fun' with my friends and family.

But as fate would have it, I'm still in Philadelphia, with my bags packed neatly (because I refuse to open them until I reach home) and I just ate a piece of chocolate cake that tasted like crap. Oh, and I got it smothered on my face too, because somehow, even though I couldn't actually do anything about my ''birthday'' and didn't even have anyone around, my room-mate still found it funny to grab a handful and shove it on my face. Go figure.

So anyway, keeping with the tradition of my blog for years now, I'm going to write another post on the day I was born. Well, not exactly the day I was born, 20 years after that, but you know what I'm saying.

Foul mood or not, I'm still alive, right? And will hopefully stay this way for another fiddy or sixty years, right. Wonder if I'll still be writing a blog .. hmm ..
Anyhow.

What was funny about this year was, that everyone wished me on both the 28th and 29th (according to American time) because everyone called when it struck 12 wherever they were. How neat, no?

I reckon I'm way over my head for a 20 year old, I've probably been into and seen more shit than the average 30 year old does, and I'm glad. Live fast, die young. Or, more like, live fast, and try hard not to die young. And it's working so far.

Just because I'm so full of myself, and self-praise makes me feel better, let's take this in that direction. I'm happy, because a lot of people close to me have added to my wisdom. For example, my friends have taught me a lot of ways in which NOT to do things. I'll try to list some things here.

Sarmad has taught me how NOT to drive cars.
LALA has taught me how NOT to go crazy with alcohol.
Adeel has taught me how NOT to hit on girls.
Finky has taught me ... just never to trust him with my life.
Gibran has taught me how NOT to do anything at all.

BUT, my friends have also taught me a lot of things over the years.

LALA has taught me how to say Fuck All, and not give a shit.
Sarmad has taught me to get a bat signal on the roof of every building I ever live in.
Finky has taught me NEVER to sit in cars with him.
Adeel has taught me ... well, what bus takes you where in Philadelphia.

It's been one hell of a ride. In fact, when people say life is short? I have to wonder what they're talking about. Life is by far one of the longest things we ever get to experience. And it's been crazy, till this point, and I don't see it slowing down anytime soon. I love it.

I have to give a shout out to Nobia who I haven't been in contact for the longest while. Shout out to everyone else that I'll probably forget to give a shout out too, not because I'll probably forget, but because ..

I'd like to take this time to wish someone I knew once a Happy Birthday. And even though, a lot has changed since then. And I mean a LOT. This day will still be THE day I was born ... and that person was born ... and the reason we actually met, to begin with.

A year wiser, and still plain stupid. That's how I like to roll. Actually, the way I like to roll is with some Psychedelic shit in the background, and mixed with cigarette tobacco, but you know what I'm saying. Plain stupid, yes. Still not loving Po lees. Still got love, for the chocolate-y treats. Still poop, and sometimes pee.

I can so write rap songs. Can't touch this.

Ok, who else to thank ... ummm, I can probably thank a LOT of people for absolutely no reason like I did last year, but I'm not doing that shit anymore, no. The people that really made this year special, let's see.

Amina. You've fixed me, messed me up, fixed me, messed me up. I know you people, reading this, cursing me under your breath. Don't judge me, I made a stupid mistake, and I'm still going to make more in the future - voluntarily and/or involuntarily - go worry about your own mistakes. So anyway, Thanks for whatever you've given me, or taken away from me - because what didn't kill me only made me stronger. God as my witness.

Moving on ... how about Dagda, huh? I don't know if you're going to read this or not mate, but you kick butt. One day, I hope of being a smartass like you. Honestly. With your hypnosis and shit, dude, you kick butt.

How about his younger brother Saad "Diesel" Saquib. Asshole that he is, he once taught me a valuable lesson, and I still remember it to this day. It's been awesome, all this time I've known you and looked up to you. Until I found out your brother is way cooler, of course =p (go scare someone else with your evil.)

Sarmad. Asshole, I know he'll probably ask me why his name was just mentioned once. HERE. Chawal.

Wijdan - I never knew I'd find someone so similar to Sarmad. In fact, I was probably praying to God that I don't. But works in mysterious ways, He does. Found this carbon copy, I did. But it's all good, they kinda cancel each other out. Oh, and Wijdan does totally kick butt to the amount that Sarmad does. And kicking butt has always been at a high regard in my book.

I've learned a lot this year, I really have. Experienced and seen a lot, too. Compared to last year anyway. And even though I hate aging, I really do. Live forever, I wish I could. So much more left to learn, so much more I have to know, it's just crazy. So Thanks to everyone that's been with me since last year - everyone that hung on for the ride a year longer, and everyone that I met in the meanwhile. Because who am I kidding - one way or the other I bet everyone taught me how To or NOT to do something. Or maybe just brought me an inch closer to one of the many goals in my life - to understand people a little better.

I have to thank God up there, for making me so damn fit. Physically, Mentally, Kick-ass-ically. I mean, seriously. Oh, and also because, it's pretty much a miracle I'm sitting in Philadelphia typing this right now. I'm not dead, that's something too. I've gotten the best "schooling education" that I have in ages. Or probably ever since I was born, because the teachers and professors actually know more than what's in the book's they're holding. And no longer do I feel smarter than the person standing in front of the class. I'm glad, I feel like a huge weigh's been lifted off my chest, for some odd reason. I'm on the receiving end for once - I'm LEARNING in school. It's a miracle, not that I made it this far - fuck, I worked my ass off for this. It's a miracle, because I didn't really think Education ever had anything to do with schooling systems. I have been wronged. Weird.

But I maintain my objective, like Mark Twain said; Not to let my schooling get in the way of my education. And to continue selling ice to Eskimos. That's how it works, uh-huh. And I kick ass at it, so why not.

Furthermore, let me give a few shout outs to, let's see .. Fatimami. I didn't think I'd ever find, in a million years, someone worth talking to in a chatroom called "Desi Chat." You've proven me wrong too. I mean, seriously.

Maira, thanks for reading my blog for all this time, and spreading the word all the way to your uni in Karachi. Say hi to your 'class-mates' for me. =p

I just typed in the title for the post, and damn. I do NOT want to age anymore. 18 was where it was, man. I mean, I realize Age is just a number - but I fear the fact that no one else realizes that! Or do they? Because people all around me act dumb as shit, and never their own age, stupidity is at an all time rise, people fail to see beyond the cover of the book - it's crazy. And I'm just trying to see how to make that work for me ...

Salma, Salwa, Kanchan - shout out, because you've spread the word too. Thanks for being here, for wishing me a happy birthday, for being you, and ... yeah, that's about it. Thanks.

Sheeni. You're evil, and we all know that about now. How about turn it down a couple of notches, it's getting old, seriously. =p Still love you though!

Who else .. hmm .. Zule, you're an idiot. Anum, you're a bigger idiot.

My, this post has gotten long. And I still feel like I'm missing so many people.

Aah, how about the rest of the world? Thanks for giving me numerous reasons to HATE all the things that you do. Thanks for being stupid, at the most odd of times. Thanks for making no sense, for doing things so pointless, for being so much like SHEEP. Thanks for giving me things to Rant about, to show my anger and hate. For making me feel so much smarter, for making me realize, how lucky I am not to be eating grass like you are. For loving the iphone, thank you, idiots. For fueling the corporate machine. For NOT sticking it to the man, because you LOVE the man and don't even realize it. For being so STUPID and realizing it AFTER the war in Iraq. For, drinking out of your Grande' cups of Coffee, for chewing on donuts even if they taste like shit - but just for the sake of chewing on donuts. For thinking Kim Kardashian is hot, even though deep down inside we all know - you wouldn't want to be on the camera in a sex tape with her either. Off camera goes though, right?

For BUYING that tape. God dammit, there's not much to see in there that's not all over the internet already! Images.google.com, idiot.

For campers all over Call of Duty 5 online. Get a fucking life. If you're playing ONLY to win, then you're not winning anything other than the title of FUCKING RETARD.

For the people that judge people without wondering why they do, what they do. For judging strippers, whores, prostitutes, and porn stars, but not giving a flying fuck about what REALLY ticks in that teeny tiny head. Seriously. Psychology ftw.

For asking questions, demanding answers. Not just sitting back, and watching shit hit the fan. Please, people. ASK. FIGURE OUT, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. "WHY?" is in the dictionaries for a REASON.

For everyone reading this blog post right now. For everyone that's made my life miserable, for everyone that's made it amazing. For everyone' that's going to make my life miserable, and for everyone that's not planning it anytime soon.

Thank you. I love you, people. You fuel my engines, you give me shit to write about. Please, don't stop killing each other, writers have got to have something to write about, people need something to talk about. We can't have peace, without war =)

I feel like I'm diverting from my mission, deviating from my objective. How about a big round of applause to Life, huh? To Aging. To, Living!

To experiencing, to learning. To finding out, to getting our hearts broken, to falling in love. To, cheat, to lie, to be lied to, to be cheated to. To laugh, to cry, to experience joy and pain.

To be here on planet Earth, to have a mind that works (almost, for some people). To have a heart that's making blood work. For a Soul that most people fail to see or acknowledge.

I've just turned twenty, I have no clue what the fuck I've been writing about for half this blog post, and I'm pissed for no reason what-so-ever. So, let me exit while I'm still on top, eh?

As I was saying - you people Kick Ass. Not as much as me, of course, but you're trying, nonetheless. Keep at it.

Love each and everyone of you for being here! xoxo for all the females, and .. well, high-fives or some shit for the guys. Or maybe just like a wave, from a distance. You know like a .. like a nod or something.

- Danish Arif.