Just woke up, and had really weird sleep .. my body hurts, so does my jaw. My skull doesn't, like yesterday. I have got to quit my routine. Going to sleep only when my body can't withstand staying up anymore. It can't be good for me.
So I look through twitter updates. Decide to add one of my own, for the world to witness. My mom sat down besides me a while ago, asking why I always turn on my laptop first thing after waking up. Why I can't spend a little more time with them instead. *sigh*.
Asked me if I could go to the hospital with them, my parents, today. Need to see a doctor who would take my tonsillitis out. Not looking forward to that.
Then she asked me if I could go to Chillies or Apple bees with them today. And before I answered, I tried thinking really hard to see when I'd get the time to have a little nicotine, so the whole fiasco becomes bearable for a while.
Then I realize how fucking sad that is, and how dependent I am on tobacco, that I can't even spend time with my parents without it.
To me, that is just fucked up. And don't get me wrong, it's fucked up on my part. But to fight my case; I wouldn't have realized it'd be this way, until I came this far. And now that I have, *sigh*, yes, I wish I didn't. But I wouldn't have realized it'd be this way, until I ...
Crack my knuckles, twist my neck around, ask mum for tea. Aah, a day in the life of me.
If that were a show, and I were watching it on tv, I'd probably turn it off after the first few minutes, because it'd just seem too cynical, depressing, and pessimistic.
1 comment:
It's okay, I think I'd actually watch the whole show, not miss a single season.
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