We were walking together, watching the waves crash into each other. The birds sang, as we walked together, acknowledging each other's presence, wanting to hold hands, but not doing so. In our heads, we knew, how much we'd both love that. Being able to be, what we were once.
A group of children ran by, happy and content with life. The weather was perfect. It was warm, and a breeze would visit every now and then. Her hair flew each time it did, and I couldn't help but stare. She acted oblivious, but I knew she knew. She just wouldn't show it, but in her mind she blushed. And her cheeks showed it.
Everything was perfect. Except for the lump in my throat, that would find it's way there, every now and then. Except for the churning in my stomach, the gloom I felt inside my chest. Which would always find it's way, somehow, every now and then. I tried ignoring it, and it worked to a certain extent. But in our minds we knew we wanted it so bad. To be able to hold hands, and just walk, and indulge in conversations we didn't want to have. Conversations we hated, but smiled involuntarily anyway.
We walked to the benches, and decided to sit down. The wind blew, the clouds parted, the sun shone brighter. The waves continued to collide, the sea breeze, like lemonade on a hot day. Birds of all kinds came to see. We didn't know what to call them, but we named names. It was cute, and everything we'd wanted, but we weren't holding hands. In our minds, we wanted to. We wanted to hold hands, to connect physically, on the level we connected on mentally. Spiritually. But we couldn't. We wouldn't. We shouldn't.
We shouldn't have. But it was all over. As abruptly as it started. We held hands. We kissed, we cried, we laughed together, voluntarily now, and we stared in each others eyes. We looked. We saw the ages we had gone through together. The times we had shared, the feelings we had once experienced. But the lump wouldn't go away. The void couldn't be filled anymore. We struggled to decide, whether it was true or not. Whether we were just playing games with each other. We probably were.
She cried as we walked, not uttering anymore words. Made our way back to where we came from. The waves had stopped, and the sun was clouded. The sunshine had disappeared, and the birds weren't singing anymore. The only sounds that fell in my years were the cries and whimpers of a heart broken. Not by anyone else, for time mends scars caused by other people. These were self inflicted scars, and self inflicted damage that would never go away. We both knew it, in our minds. But we had denied it for so long. We would disagree on agreeing, and we would agree to disagree.
For so long it had worked. But the lump wouldn't go away, there was nothing that could settle in the void.
It was all over. The last drop of tears, her and mine, we promised ourselves would be the last bit of emotions we felt for each other. At least I did. Forever, I decided.
We walked, and she insisted on holding hands. Insisted on making things work. Insisted on the waves to start moving again, for the birds to start singing again, for the sun to shine again. But it wouldn't work. The lump was permanent now, and the void would go on forever.
And it wasn't the first end we had experienced. It was one of many. But the last of it's kind.
A group of children ran by, happy and content with life. The weather was perfect. It was warm, and a breeze would visit every now and then. Her hair flew each time it did, and I couldn't help but stare. She acted oblivious, but I knew she knew. She just wouldn't show it, but in her mind she blushed. And her cheeks showed it.
Everything was perfect. Except for the lump in my throat, that would find it's way there, every now and then. Except for the churning in my stomach, the gloom I felt inside my chest. Which would always find it's way, somehow, every now and then. I tried ignoring it, and it worked to a certain extent. But in our minds we knew we wanted it so bad. To be able to hold hands, and just walk, and indulge in conversations we didn't want to have. Conversations we hated, but smiled involuntarily anyway.
We walked to the benches, and decided to sit down. The wind blew, the clouds parted, the sun shone brighter. The waves continued to collide, the sea breeze, like lemonade on a hot day. Birds of all kinds came to see. We didn't know what to call them, but we named names. It was cute, and everything we'd wanted, but we weren't holding hands. In our minds, we wanted to. We wanted to hold hands, to connect physically, on the level we connected on mentally. Spiritually. But we couldn't. We wouldn't. We shouldn't.
We shouldn't have. But it was all over. As abruptly as it started. We held hands. We kissed, we cried, we laughed together, voluntarily now, and we stared in each others eyes. We looked. We saw the ages we had gone through together. The times we had shared, the feelings we had once experienced. But the lump wouldn't go away. The void couldn't be filled anymore. We struggled to decide, whether it was true or not. Whether we were just playing games with each other. We probably were.
She cried as we walked, not uttering anymore words. Made our way back to where we came from. The waves had stopped, and the sun was clouded. The sunshine had disappeared, and the birds weren't singing anymore. The only sounds that fell in my years were the cries and whimpers of a heart broken. Not by anyone else, for time mends scars caused by other people. These were self inflicted scars, and self inflicted damage that would never go away. We both knew it, in our minds. But we had denied it for so long. We would disagree on agreeing, and we would agree to disagree.
For so long it had worked. But the lump wouldn't go away, there was nothing that could settle in the void.
It was all over. The last drop of tears, her and mine, we promised ourselves would be the last bit of emotions we felt for each other. At least I did. Forever, I decided.
We walked, and she insisted on holding hands. Insisted on making things work. Insisted on the waves to start moving again, for the birds to start singing again, for the sun to shine again. But it wouldn't work. The lump was permanent now, and the void would go on forever.
And it wasn't the first end we had experienced. It was one of many. But the last of it's kind.
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