Grassy Knolls.

::

I was just reading back to 2003, all my old posts and what not, and I've realized. It's amusing, the pace life is going at. Living in first person, it may not seem that way. But take a step back, and watch it pass you by .. we're circling the sun, and it's pretty much a big deal. We just don't realize it, we're too busy circling things ourselves.

I'm having this mood-swing thing, I can't describe it. Somehow, I just feel like I'm missing out on something, somewhere. There's this gap, inside my soul - as lame as that sounds, but I can't fill it. Does that make any sense to anyone?

So I stop to wonder. What is it, that I don't have? There's nothing I don't have. I have everything I could want... everything realistic, anyway. Here are some things I still want;

The ability to fly. I would love, just taking off, landing feet away from population. Looking over the world, closer to the stars than everyone below me. That's why I probably keep seeing skies and airplanes in my dreams. And why my photo gallery consists of more sky photos, than, well, other things.

The ability to read minds. See people for what they really are. I fail at that. All ways, all the time, no lie. Not because I can't tell when a person is actually nice on the inside, no. I fail at that, because I take humans to be peaceful, happy and kind people. But it always turns out the other way around. Ironic?

I've realized, the reason we don't have world peace - is not because we're different. It's because we're all so alike, sheep that we are. And we'll kill each other for each last bit and strand of grass.

"We make war, that we may live in peace."


...

I don't know what I was writing about, or why. I can read what I was writing - but it's lost it's meaning. *Sigh*

I used to be such an idiot. I've changed though ... I've realized how desperate for attention I was ... was? ... I've changed though ... right?

See, I kept begging people to email me. In every, God-damn post. Every post. 22 posts in an year, and I've actually asked the following question a number of times;

"Does anyone even read this stuff?"

But I kept going, for who knows what reason. And now I have 5-6 years of blog posts. Maybe I really was writing for myself. That's the only logical explanation I can come up with.

I would've made such good friends with Aristotle. Or Socrates. Or Machiavelli, actually. Would've learned a lot. Things books can't teach. Yes, there exist things like that.

How about a little random, this and that?

~~

Nom, nom, nom.
Scooters, vacation, fall. April. *sigh*


It's quiet, but in my mind, I shout
It's lonely now, where I lie about
I lay alone, on this grassy knoll
though we walked together, when I set out

star gazing, you're never really alone
around you lays the rest of the night
dark sky, the real reason stars shine
we just don't see beyond their light


::


Remember the Sopranos series finale?