This Fire Burns

You can only be backed into a corner so far down, before you decide you want to push back at the world.

How long does it take for a match stick to break in your hands when you apply a force to it? Not very long.

This is different though. The day I start reconsidering myself as a match stick, I know I've gone down again. There's no turning back.

So I sat in the dark, hating myself and hating everything. But this hate wasn't working. This hate was aimed at myself. Redirected to myself.

But now I see the light. You can only hate yourself for so long. Channel your hate into a rage, and unleash it. There is no satisfaction like the satisfaction of breaking free.

And I'm there now. I'm free from guilt, I'm free from sadness/depression/melancholia. None of this is my fault ... not any more anyway.

This Fire Burns.
Backed into a corner
with no where to go
there used to be a man here
who suffered fate's blow

no longer does he live
drowned in a pool of loss
no longer is he saddened
anger is his only thought

no longer does he feel sorry
or sad because of fate
The only thing left standing
is the fire of hate

----

"There are two sides to anger. On one hand it can be the cause of tremendous pain and suffering. It can turn into hatred or violence in the blink of an eye and destroy everything we love and care about, or it can turn inward and become bitterness and despair. The later of course just eats us up from the inside until we break down or break apart."

Don't accept sympathy. No more excuses.Vent your anger with compassion.Do nothing with your anger for 24 hours.

Am I happy? Yes.
There's always a price though... I might end up hurting people. But what the hell, I'm tired of hurting myself for so long. I've given away enough chances...

Am I falling into pieces? No. I'm just rising from the ashes in a bright fire. I'm a pheonix.