Ok, so, the thing with this post here is ... let me mention first that this is the 91st post! Yes, almost a 100 posts! woohoo! ... yeah, the thing with this post is that I really have nothing to talk about, but I need to blow off a LOT of steam and let a LOT out of my system. And so, I'm going to write whatever comes to my head first.
Let's start with Karma. It is a bitch. And I mean, not just a bitch, it can really, really, rip you apart. It's the part of revenge, that is actually "involuntary" if you may.
You wanna rip someone apart? Sit back, relax, have some pop-corn maybe, be nice instead. And in a few days? Watch karma go medievil on that unlucky bastard's ass.
Woohoo, profanity. What would we be without it?
Next, I want to mention Guilt. If karma is a bitch? Guilt is a somabitch. YES. Guilt! It can make you want to jump off a cliff, set yourself on fire, chop yourself into pieces? And not even necessarily kill yourself in the process.
Ok, here's a thought. Whenever someone is guilty, they'll tell you they want to do something horrible to themselves. How many people have you seen that actually want to kill themselves?
Next time you run into a smartass, that keeps on telling you how guilty they are, and how they could just kill themselves? You should go like:
"Oh sure. I'd do it for you, but I don't really want blood on my hands. I'll tell you what though..."
and hand them a fucking map to the nearest fucking cliff.
You must be thinking. "What's up his ass? Why is he in such a bad mood?"
Well, I'll tell you. Remember that post? About being pushed too far? Well guess what.
Yield fucking limit. And glad to be free.
One more thing. Someone, just made it their priority to tell me no one reads my blog. Well, I don't really fucking care. As you can probably see by now? This post doesn't even make a lot of sense. But it made me a lot happier than I was like a couple of minutes ago. Do YOU have anything better?
Oct 29, 2007
Oct 27, 2007
Boredom-ness
I've been trying to reach a decision in the past 10 minutes.
Do I get up and sit straight on my chair or not?
That's how bored and lazy I am right now ... I've been stuck at home all day, in a complete state of no worry, and it's almost like house arrest.
I put my head back a while ago and looked around at my room. Have you ever noticed? It's like being inside a box. Go to one of the walls and look around at all four walls, and the roof right now.
It IS like being inside a box.
And that thought made me want to go out so bad, but due to some weird parental insecurities (from my parents) and irony being a bitch, I couldn't. So here I am, sitting on the computer, writing about how sucky life is again.
If you're here reading this right now, know that you're having more fun reading this than I was having writing this... ooh, thanks for reading by the way :)
Do I get up and sit straight on my chair or not?
That's how bored and lazy I am right now ... I've been stuck at home all day, in a complete state of no worry, and it's almost like house arrest.
I put my head back a while ago and looked around at my room. Have you ever noticed? It's like being inside a box. Go to one of the walls and look around at all four walls, and the roof right now.
It IS like being inside a box.
And that thought made me want to go out so bad, but due to some weird parental insecurities (from my parents) and irony being a bitch, I couldn't. So here I am, sitting on the computer, writing about how sucky life is again.
If you're here reading this right now, know that you're having more fun reading this than I was having writing this... ooh, thanks for reading by the way :)
Oct 20, 2007
Spare Me The Details ...
I don't even need to look for words anymore. I have songs that relate to me, instead.
It's Amazing how you can relate to songs so clearly. You almost feel pity for the people that don't get what a song is about ... go get your girlfriends to play you, so you can get what the following songs are about. It's not worth it, but you'll see what you're missing.
Nymphetamine - by Cradle Of Filth.
The title is a portmanteau of "nymphomaniac" and "amphetamine", and Dani Filth explained the track itself as referring to "a drug-like addiction to the woman in question, with her insidious vampyre qualities literally bringing her lover back from the brink of the spiritual grave, only to bury him further on the strength of a whim. The album is written in the style of Edgar Allan Poe's works, and leaves one thinking that, despite the character's inner agonies, he is really a welcome submissive who readily enjoys the terrible highs and lows of his relationship with this alluring and filthy, depreciative succubus.
Offspring - Spare Me The Details
My girlfriend, my dumb donut
Went out to a party just the other night
But three hours later and seven shots of jäger,
She was in the bedroom with another guy
And I don't really wanna know
So don't tell me anymore
And I really don't wanna hear
About her feet all up in the air
And well, I'm not the one who acted like a hoe
Why must I be the one who has to know?
I'm not the one who messed up big time
So spare me the details, if you don't mind
Now I can understand friends who wanna tell me
Think they're gonna help me open up my eyes
But the play-by-play makes me want to lose it
Everytime you do it, man, it turns the knife
And I don't really wanna know
So don't tell me anymore
And i really don't wanna hear
About her feet all up in the air
And well, I'm not the one who acted like a hoe
Why must I be the one who has to know?
I'm not the one who messed up big time
So spare me the details, if you don't mind
Now I don't need to hear about the sounds they were making
And I don't need to hear about how long it was taking
Or how the walls, they were shaking
Now I'm lying in bed, wallowing in sorrow
Missing the tomorrow that we could have had
Running through my head, over and over
Things I never told her now just make me sad
And it drives me insane, sitting with a vision
Stuck with that image burned into my brain
And I feel so dumb that I could ever trust her
While someone else fucked her, then walked away
And I don't really wanna know
So don't tell me anymore
And I really don't wanna hear
About her feet all up in the air
And so, I'm not the one who acted like a hoe
Why must I be the one who has to know?
I'm not the one who messed up big time
So spare me the details, if you don't mind
(Cause I don't wanna know)
(Don't wanna know) Spare me the details if you don't mind
(Don't wanna know)
(Don't wanna know) Spare me the details if you don't mind
Audioslave - What You Are
And when you wanted me
I came to you
And when you wanted someone else
I withdrew
And when you asked for light
I set myself on fire
And if I go far away I know
You'll find another slave
(chorus)
Cause now I'm free from what you want
Now I'm free from what you need
Now I'm free from what you are
And when you wanted blood
I cut my veins
And when you wanted love
I bled myself again
Now that I've had my fill of you
I'll give you up forever
And here I go far away
I know you'll find another slave
(chorus)
Cause now I'm free from
What you want
Now I'm free from what you need
Now I'm free from what you are
Then a vision came to me
When you came along
I gave you everything
But then you wanted more...
It's Amazing how you can relate to songs so clearly. You almost feel pity for the people that don't get what a song is about ... go get your girlfriends to play you, so you can get what the following songs are about. It's not worth it, but you'll see what you're missing.
Nymphetamine - by Cradle Of Filth.
The title is a portmanteau of "nymphomaniac" and "amphetamine", and Dani Filth explained the track itself as referring to "a drug-like addiction to the woman in question, with her insidious vampyre qualities literally bringing her lover back from the brink of the spiritual grave, only to bury him further on the strength of a whim. The album is written in the style of Edgar Allan Poe's works, and leaves one thinking that, despite the character's inner agonies, he is really a welcome submissive who readily enjoys the terrible highs and lows of his relationship with this alluring and filthy, depreciative succubus.
Offspring - Spare Me The Details
My girlfriend, my dumb donut
Went out to a party just the other night
But three hours later and seven shots of jäger,
She was in the bedroom with another guy
And I don't really wanna know
So don't tell me anymore
And I really don't wanna hear
About her feet all up in the air
And well, I'm not the one who acted like a hoe
Why must I be the one who has to know?
I'm not the one who messed up big time
So spare me the details, if you don't mind
Now I can understand friends who wanna tell me
Think they're gonna help me open up my eyes
But the play-by-play makes me want to lose it
Everytime you do it, man, it turns the knife
And I don't really wanna know
So don't tell me anymore
And i really don't wanna hear
About her feet all up in the air
And well, I'm not the one who acted like a hoe
Why must I be the one who has to know?
I'm not the one who messed up big time
So spare me the details, if you don't mind
Now I don't need to hear about the sounds they were making
And I don't need to hear about how long it was taking
Or how the walls, they were shaking
Now I'm lying in bed, wallowing in sorrow
Missing the tomorrow that we could have had
Running through my head, over and over
Things I never told her now just make me sad
And it drives me insane, sitting with a vision
Stuck with that image burned into my brain
And I feel so dumb that I could ever trust her
While someone else fucked her, then walked away
And I don't really wanna know
So don't tell me anymore
And I really don't wanna hear
About her feet all up in the air
And so, I'm not the one who acted like a hoe
Why must I be the one who has to know?
I'm not the one who messed up big time
So spare me the details, if you don't mind
(Cause I don't wanna know)
(Don't wanna know) Spare me the details if you don't mind
(Don't wanna know)
(Don't wanna know) Spare me the details if you don't mind
Linkin Park - In The End
It starts with one thing
I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing, I don't know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme, to explain in due time
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me (in the end)
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
It starts with one thing
I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing, I don't know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme, to explain in due time
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me (in the end)
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
Audioslave - What You Are
And when you wanted me
I came to you
And when you wanted someone else
I withdrew
And when you asked for light
I set myself on fire
And if I go far away I know
You'll find another slave
(chorus)
Cause now I'm free from what you want
Now I'm free from what you need
Now I'm free from what you are
And when you wanted blood
I cut my veins
And when you wanted love
I bled myself again
Now that I've had my fill of you
I'll give you up forever
And here I go far away
I know you'll find another slave
(chorus)
Cause now I'm free from
What you want
Now I'm free from what you need
Now I'm free from what you are
Then a vision came to me
When you came along
I gave you everything
But then you wanted more...
Oct 9, 2007
Ataraxia
Sanity is overrated. And so is Happiness. The latter, because it really doesn't last as long as it should. Ever.
But that's just the beauty of it. You never want it to end.
Lately, I've been feeling completely Ataraxic. Free from worry. Complete Hedona.
In fact, if it wasn't for my creative drive, I'd not be here writing on my blog right now. But, I just felt like making a little sense and venting out some creativity and here I am.
Lately, I've been having tears form in the corner of my eyes for no reason at all. Is that my body telling me my soul's breaking apart? Maybe it is. The side-effect of thinking I can live long with my Devil May Care attitude.
If Ataraxia is a gift, I want to feel blessed.
But all I feel is burdened ...
To fall apart and just let it all out of my system. But falling apart is not an option I'm leaving open anymore, and therefore I'm going to see how long I can take this.
I haven't been eating and I haven't been getting any sleep even if I 'sleep' for around 10 hours. Eating Disorders and Sleeping Disorders. Just what I needed.
It seems that my life revolves around these, disorders, you may almost feel that I'm making things up as the world spins. But seriously; I think I would know.
Yesterday I had another manic attack and I ticked my friends off ...
All this insanity better be worth it.
But that's just the beauty of it. You never want it to end.
Lately, I've been feeling completely Ataraxic. Free from worry. Complete Hedona.
In fact, if it wasn't for my creative drive, I'd not be here writing on my blog right now. But, I just felt like making a little sense and venting out some creativity and here I am.
Lately, I've been having tears form in the corner of my eyes for no reason at all. Is that my body telling me my soul's breaking apart? Maybe it is. The side-effect of thinking I can live long with my Devil May Care attitude.
If Ataraxia is a gift, I want to feel blessed.
But all I feel is burdened ...
To fall apart and just let it all out of my system. But falling apart is not an option I'm leaving open anymore, and therefore I'm going to see how long I can take this.
I haven't been eating and I haven't been getting any sleep even if I 'sleep' for around 10 hours. Eating Disorders and Sleeping Disorders. Just what I needed.
It seems that my life revolves around these, disorders, you may almost feel that I'm making things up as the world spins. But seriously; I think I would know.
Yesterday I had another manic attack and I ticked my friends off ...
All this insanity better be worth it.
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