The Stir

Me and Saad were talking some time ago, and Saad said "Dude, we really need a stir in our lives"

I don't know if this is what he was talking about, but if I were to file today into the records, this would definately classify as a stir.

So Me, Sam and Saad "xt" decided to go to our hangout spot which we call "The Cliff"

But since the cliff was already occupied by a hound of dogs with gleaming eyes, we decided to explore another route that took us to the west side of the cliff.

We reached this place with a lot of buildings still under construction and no lights at all. We loved the spot at first sight.

Me and Saad decided to explore further, and climbed on top of one of the incomplete buildings, or just the exoskeleton of the building, and went up to what looked like the "roof".

Sam was a bit reluctant, but he joined a while later and we sat up on the roof, looking up at the stars and the flying clouds above. It was pretttyy o_o

So after we were done with our "meal" we decided to head back home at around 11.30. BUT, Since I didn't feel like going back home, we agreed on dropping off Saad home and going to sam's place, where he would arrive in his car.

So we did just that, and Saad came up to sam's place in about 20 minutes. Sam couldn't come so we bid farewell and embarked on our ''journey''

We were still near civilization when I got the though of playing pool, but for some reason I didn't say it out loud and me and Saad agreed on going back to the "Ghost Town" ... yes, that's what we called the place. Since there was no civilization for at least a mile's radius.

Earlier when we were going back home with Sam, at the exit to the 'farmlands' we almost ran over a black cat. We stopped a few feet further and looked back to see the cat still alive and crossing the road.

When me and Saad arrived at the same spot at around 12.00, the cat just sat at the entrance, as if waiting for us.

We followed the path to the Ghost Town when we came to an intersection. And as cliche' as this sounds the only street light at the cross section turned off as soon as we reached it...

ME: "Lol, saad, this is almost like something wants us to come back to the Ghost Town ..."
xt: "Yeahhhh, I'm getting that too"

We entered, and decided to take a different path to a different set of incomplete buildings. But, that wasn't going to happen, as Saad's car started to get trapped under the sand. So we just decided to go back to the previous Ghost Town.

We reached the ghost town, and strangely, it seemed a lot darker than before. And the time was clocked at around 12.00 too.

So we got off, but I seriously didn't want to climb any roofs anymore. I was freaked out, and you can't blame me. You haven't seen "The Cliff" ...

So Saad, being the baaastard that he is :p .. decided to go off exploring. At first we just stopped the car in the middle like before and sat down to listen to the "Sounds Of The City"

But we heard more than we wanted to. We actually heard footsteps. Now, that freaked us out. I got in the car and xt was behind me, when the smartass actually stopped to listen to more.

We stood there for like a minute when Saad said:
"Dude, I feel like something just went around me ..."
Me:
"Er, riight, can we get out of here??"

But that's not exactly what Saad had in mind ... he started going back towards the house we were sitting on earlier, and I wasn't about to stay in the car =\

I opened the door, and kept it open, and ran towards saad.

Me:
"Dude, where the fuck are you going?"
Saad:
"I want too see what that sound was ..."
Me:
"What? Fuck no, let's get the fuck out of here..."
Saad:
"Hellllooooooo?"

I grabbed Saad's shirt and pulled him back
Me:
"You baaasturd, we're leaving"

We both turned around to catch the one sight that we think we'll remember forever.

No, before I tell you what we saw, keep in mind that Saad had the keys to his car in his hand. And, the car was completely turned off.

So I turn Saad around, and my gaze goes up to the car followed by Saad's

And we witness the car headlights turn on for a complete second before immaturely turning back off.

And no, nothing flashed before our eyes, because we were too fucking scared to even think.
So what did we do? We made a run for it ... we didn't think of running. We just ran.

We got in the car, and Saad actually stumbled to get it to ignition. That dude doesn't have problems starting his car when he's completely stoned!

Finally, when the car did start ... we drove the fuck out of there, and only started breathing again when we reached civilization ...

The first thing we did was to recollect the facts.
No matter what you prove, there was no way the lights could've turned on and off by themselves.

Our theory : That's how someone replied to us. When Saad felt something pass by him, the "thing" went inside the car ...

We drove all the way back to Sam's place to tell him the story first!

So we decided never to back to The Cliff or the Ghost Town ...

... yeah, right. Next sunday baby!

Claustrophobia ...

I've always hated claustrophobia. The fear of being trapped.

Always. Even as a child. I extremely hated it. If I had a gun, and no wisdom at all, I'd have shot myself when I was 10.

I remember getting stuck in my shirt. I remember it like yesterday; I couldn't breath at all, and got the sensation of drowning ... until my dad had to tear the shirt up to get me out.

I was alive again. For a few seconds there, I had felt like death was creeping from the shadows to shake hands with me ...

And somehow that feeling has stayed with me like a stamp on my forehead or a barcode on the back of my neck.

They say most of the shit you go through in childhood reflects in your life later.

I've grown so paranoid' of the feeling, I lose control. I'm a loose cannon, and my judgement has been shot in the head.

And everything around me bleeds when I erupt.

If you push something or someone really hard in a corner, and there's no way to come out, you end up recieving the same amount of force. If you push something until there's no place to go, it'll just push back.

There's a limit to everything. Yield Point.

The feeling of, not being in control. The feeling of being lost ... The feeling of losing it.

The feeling of no sense of direction. The feeling of ... being a puppet.

Just makes me wish I had a gun and no wisdom at all ... makes me wish I was never 10 ...

Bipolar Blogger

So now, I'm officially a "Self-Diagnosed Manic Depressive" ... A Bipolar ... Contracted with Bipolar Disorder II (Or just Bipolar II)

In this life, and this time, it's not a matter of precautions from diseases anymore. It's now a matter of picking a disease you like and telling everyone about it.

But tell me , do any of these remind you of me?

• Inflated self-esteem or Grandiosity
• Inflated self-importance; in some, delusions or hallucinations.
• Feeling all-powerful, invincible, and destined for greatness.
• Euphoric mood; Feeling “high”, excessively optimistic, better than ever before.
• Extreme irritability Feeling irritable or angry; Behavior that is aggressive, provocative, or intrusive.
• Decreased need for sleep; Feeling rested after just a few hours of sleep.
• More talkative than usual; Extremely talkative and sociable; pressure to keep talking.
• Racing thoughts Flight of ideas; can't keep up with your own ideas and thoughts.
• Distractibility
• Inability to concentrate, distracted, restless.
• Increase in goal-directed activity or psychomotor agitation
• Extremely energetic; increased productivity; a feeling of high intelligence and creativity.
• Risky behavior
• Excessive involvement in pleasurable or high risk activities, such as sex, drug or alcohol use, gambling, or spending sprees.
• Impaired judgment
• Reckless, impulsive, unpredictable; No perception that the mood and behaviors are abnormal.
  

If you ask me, I'd say all of them do ...

I'd say Bipolar has it's own set of advantages and disadvantages. For all I know, all my creativity is chanelled through it. I might owe everything I have at this point to it ... how did I get the disease? People that know me for very long, will agree when I tell them how my childhood played a part. I may sound all dramatic at this point, but that's all I can think of as the origins of this disease. Still confused? Two words; "Congenital Ptosis"

So what are the advantages? I do feel 'high' and 'euphoriac' ... hell, I was just telling my friends about that the other day ... does the term "Sugar Rush" mean anything to you? Yes, that's a manic episode ... and even more proof.

Am I good writer? Point number 2.

Do I have mood swings? Yes, I do. Point number 3.

Sugar rushes. Point number 4.

And to make it all complete, I like art ...

Oh, and I just called myself a good writer. That's Grandiosity right there. Point number 5.

And another advantage I can think of? I might be meeting Sidney Sheldon, or Kurt Cobain soon ... or just their height of hype ... hopefully.

Rate of flow of time ...

Time flies by so fast ... I've always thought of life, as the longest thing anyone can experience.

But if things keep moving at such a fast rate, what's the use? It is, about the journey, and not the destination, right? Right.

So, 2 months have gone by faster than I could say "2 months have gone by faster than I could say" ... and if my memory serves me right, the highlights of these 2 months were:

1. Me and my friends being mugged.
2. The stayovers at friend's places!
3. Learning how to make coffee ... oh, and practicing egg making technique ... lol.
4. Deciding on what I want my future to be like!
and of course:
5. Falling in love! (which makes it all complete! =) ... )

It seems like yesterday, but I don't remember a thing ... and neither do I remember, anything that happened. It's all like a dream. I faintly remember hanging out with Sarmad and Lala at 7 in the morning, and walking around Malaz on foot ... and now, it's a week till Lala comes back from Pakistan.

I also faintly remember getting a call from Saad Saquib at 12 in the night, telling us he's come to Riyadh. And now, he's going back to paki in a day ...

It's been 2 bloody months ... and I only remember it as a week ... Maybe its something to do with having fun, and time flying by so fast because of that.

Whatever it was ... I hope everything I do remember, stays where it is ...

Danish's Law Of Flow Of Time:

The Rate Of Flow Of Time = How Much Fun You're Having.