Jul 14, 2012

Oh, Facebook.

So, I've just found out there's a person on facebook that's an apparent mutual friend, named "Wifey Material." If this was any more ironic, it'd be on the periodic table.

Not only is her profile picture a self shot through a mirror. She's also in Hijab, and has a leg up on a chair or something.

"If ya dont no me, ur not guna get to no me :p" her facebook page says.

If she don't buy a book soon and somehow stomach her way through it, she's going to have a hard time getting anyone to know what she's fucking on about.

I tried reading through her favorite quotes, but the only one I could come close to comprehend goes:

"ιƒ уσυя ℓσσкιη 4 ρєяƒє¢тιση вυу уσυяѕєℓƒ α вαявιє ∂σℓℓ "

I was actually looking for something said or written by someone of at least relative fame, but this shit works too I suppose.

The rest of them looked like: "ĿĪĿ ß♡ĪS ṖĿΛY ΛŔ♡ƱИD ŔƐΛĿ MƐИ SƐŦŦĿƐ D♡ѠИ"

I'm no good at cryptography yet, but she'd sure make Dan Brown proud.

A friend got interested, and since great minds think alike or some shit, he decided he could pick some ideas for a funny blog post himself. After cross referencing, he asks me if "Wifey Materials'" facebook page has the numbers 16 after them.

I checked with mine, and mine said 56.

Which means, there are currently 56 known cases of people using "Wifey Material" as their facebook names.

My hands are fucking huge, but they're not enough to carry the weight of the facepalm that is required for this one.

Before I get accused of not having a life, and stalking other people to get a petty laugh or two, didn't you think this shit was at least a little funny?

As far as having a life is concerned; you're on here, reading this shit, aren't you?

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