Vie

I don't know ... I really don't. I, am, probably the moodiest person I have ever met.

What does moody mean, anyway? Someone that is constantly sad, or someone that can't decide? I'm the latter, F.Y.I.

It's like ... it's like being drunk. Like being on your sofa the next day, but not knowing how you got there, or if there's anyone else in your apartment. I don't know how I would know how it is to be drunk, but I have a pretty good idea. A pretty, good idea.

So, I fall asleep at around 2.30 or 3, not sure, with a really bad headache, a fever, and a sore-throat that just won't fucking leave. But, I wake up at 6 with the light besides my bed on, somehow, and I'm wondering.

What the fuck?

It felt like my insomnia stage, all over again ... I just hope it's not here to stay.

So, I've noticed I can somehow manage to be really, really depressed, even while standing in between a large group of people. Large, as in, around 80 people. Yes, that is what I meant by large in case you were wondering 20 people, because you were wrong then. That's medium people ... (just had to make that funny)

So, for reasons I deem unnecessary to enclose, I was going through clinical depression while sitting at a concert. Go figure.

Maybe, just maybe, it was due to this group of dumbass f.o.b.s' playing Yaar Bina by Junoon. Or actually going to town on it. I felt like hanging myself and writing a letter addressed to the band, stating my reason for opting out of life so soon;

Dear Band Members,
You suck, I accidentaly heard you play, and I just couldn't take it.
Ps: you guys aren't that bad...
pss: I'm joking, you suck.

And for the rest of the world;

Dear World,
I just heard this sucky band (band website goes here) and I decided I couldn't take it anymore.
Ps: don't grant them any final wishes, they might ask to play for you.

Ok, enough poking fun at sucky musicians, but the real reason I'm out here is because I missed writing. That is basically it, I just missed writing.

I've been lying to myself, saying I don't need to because I'm not depressed anymore. What part was I lying about? The writing only because I'm depressed part, or the I'm Not Depressed part?

I saw someone in a dream two days ago, and it's just been downhill since then, really ... and I don't even know how that happened. I mean, it took me a year to get over it, and suddenly you ...

It's like seeing the Grimm Reaper after having a near death experience. Like seeing the Grimm Reaper, a Week, after having a near death experience.

You start praying for a day or two, you celebrate that you're still alive and that you got out so close, you tell yourself you're really lucky. And then after a week you find yourself standing in front of the angel of death himself (why is he called an Angel ... really ...) and you really must ask yourself. Why?

That is kinda like how it felt. *sigh*.

If only our system of asking for things from God, was a little like this;

You get 5 wishes every week, and you can ask for them any day of the week, at anytime. But just 5 things, and you're guranteed to get them.

Wow, everyone on earth would be the happiest person on earth ... but for a week only, though. Soon people would literally forget what happiness was. Because they wouldn't be sad.

Deep.

So, I picked up Sidney Sheldon's "Nothing Lasts Forever". I loved Sidney Sheldon. For all of you that don't know, Sidney Sheldon is actually a guy. Was, actually, may his soul rest in peace.

I've read so many Sidney Sheldon novels, I'm accustomed to his writing style. But that is what was so great about the man. And also the reason all of his books were Bestsellers. Because his writing style Never gave anything away. It was always unpredictable ...

Next, I thought of experimenting with a little Stephen King and finding out why people use cliche'd terms like "couldn't sleep all night, I accidentaly read a Stephen King novel"

But I still don't understand, really. Maybe because I got his rather, not so famous, work;

"Everything's Eventual" - 14 Dark Tales. Yes, short stories, written by Stephen King. heh.

and "Cell" .... one of his latest works. I haven't started reading it yet, but from what I've read in Everything's Eventual I have concluded:

It wasn't scary. Period.

Stephen King is a good storyteller, and maybe it's because I didn't pick up more popular works like The Rose Madder or It, that I didn't find anything keeping me up at night. Or, maybe it's because I don't even remember the last time I actually slept at Night. Heck, I've been up and it's 9.33 AM right now ... I should really hit the sack.

*Kisses his blog goodnight*

And goodnight, you.