Choices...

I hate choices. I've hated them all my life. It started with a fear ... the fear of making them, and the fear of being put in a decision, that had no positive outcome. The fear soon turned into anger, and produced this intense hate with word "Choose" ... between and amongst relations, most importantly.

The logic behind my hating choices isn't complicated as much as it is a difference in thinking. Different than any other, I believe there is no need to have choice. Look past choice, and wonder if you can have it both ... have it all, instead of limiting yourself to a number. I have a thing against limitations. My belief, that the whole world can be held into your hands ... as long as there are no limits ... and the first step is realization.

Of course, then again, I have had this comparison with Greek Philosopher Socrates made a couple of times ... they say his thoughts were different than all other philosophers ... so significant was his contribution, that everything else was either Post-Socrates or Pre-Socrates ...

If I can let you live life as you want to, I deserve the same. Honor me with what I ask, for it's not a lot ... I'm just asking to live my life ...

A Chinese Proverb goes a little something like
"Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own."

And in a more relative fashion, I'd like to quote the lyrics of Alice in Chains guitarist, Jerry Cantrell , for the Alice in Chains song, "Would";

"Into the flood again, same old trip it was back then ... So I made a big mistake ... try to see it once my way... Am I wrong? Have I run too far to get home?"

One fear I've always had was the fear of being lonely ... I've struggled with loneliness all my life ... as a child, when all I did was sit in my corner looking at the world pass me by. And then, when people decided to leave, ever so careless, I looked back at what I've become and wonder ...

Am I to blame? Is it all my fault? It has to be ... Since all chances are taken away in the blink of an eye ... people become careless to a lot of things, it's anger that makes them ...

I don't have anyone to blame ... I don't have anything to regret either, since I don't believe in regrets anymore ...

All I can do is blame myself ... for being so different, I guess ... for having my own thoughts and my own ways ...

... I have no choice.