Let's talk music because somehow I can describe how I've been feeling very well using it.

I was never a big fan of Radiohead, but then I heard this jazz cover of "Paranoid Android," by Brad Mehldau. Replacing the vocals with a piano adds to the overall haunting feel of the song, and I actually prefer it over the original.

Especially after the 5:20 mark, when the music has slowed down as if to implore you to pay more attention.

"Baby, say you'll remember...
I will love you till the end of time."

This song sends a shiver down my spine. Injects me with a dose of melancholy, too, but I don't mind.

About walking out on the dream/out of the door, and the Late 70s', early 80s' for some odd reason. "Blue Jeans," right? About cigarettes and white tshirts and black thick rimmed sunglasses.

About being young and in love, and the first brush with it. About making so many mistakes you can only ask yourself how you could be so, "young and foolish."

Aah. About willing to risk it all and not look back, never ever.

About going all in, and willing to put everything on the line. Being careless by design, experiencing being free, trying to explore the limit, willing to be ... reckless.

Aah. About making so many mistakes, that you'll never make again.

It just can't happen, you just can't let it happen. You now know better.

Somehow, that takes the magic of it away, too though. Doesn't it?

The magic that was bundled with not knowing how any of it actually worked, or what exactly was going to happen. The thrill of that, the rush.

Growing up makes us make more concrete decisions, look further ahead on the field. Because we've already made all the fun mistakes, we've learned how to be more careful.

I am going to miss being careless.

I'm turning 24 soon, and these are the kind of things I've got to say for myself, still. Ha.