Female Obsessions.

I'm posting this important Public Service Announcment by a friend of mine, concerning Twilight and it's affect on women.
By "ZuZu".

He asked me to put up his piece on my blog, and I felt like this was a serious epidemic that was spreading between the women on earth and had to be addressed.

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Sick of the whole, "OMG... I love Edward” thing!!
First, don't get me wrong, I am in no way jealous of a fictional vampire character.  

However, I feel like I can't go anywhere anymore without some girl talking on the phone, or yapping up her friend about how much she loves Edward Cullen, and how much Edward Cullen has changed their lives. It is starting to piss me off on many levels. I mean, PLEASE STFU ALREADY! 

The main reason it pisses me off is because its pretty clear the vast majority of these girls only claim to be in love with love him because its suddenly the cool thing to do. The whole gentleman, dark and complicated, yet charming vampire routine has been done 1000 times over... Actually, I think Twilight stole the plot from a porn movie I watched in 9th grade with my friend and just took out all the sex scenes. The book just so happen to catch on like a boy band or any other trend. .. In my eyes he is no different than Furbys or Hanson. 

Okay, so you think its a good book... fine. You like the character...great. But for suddenly form an unhealthy addiction to a guy which you probably would laugh at if you saw in real life is ridiculous. Would you really pretend to be that obsessed over him if Twilight was just some book you picked up that nobody else had heard of? No, of course not, your friends would think you were silly and rather insane. 

In reality Edward Cullen would be the equivilent of a ***** emo panzy who wears sparkles and is hopped up on pain killers and crystal meth. Ironically he posseses some of the least desirable traits that women would have previously listed for a boyfriend. He is clingy, pale, cold and uncuddleable, overly-controlling, and most of all he can't have sex. Also, if I were to drive like him with a girl in the car I am positive I would get nothing but backseat driving barking in my ear to slow down. 

Now, I am pretty sure that while Cullen may somehow look good on paper, if it were to come down between this whimsical fictionaly vampire fairy boi who is leading you on and won't touch you and..a real man who burps, farts, but can rail you until your eyes cave in yet is still caring and loving at the same time... it wouldn't even be a question that you'd choose the later. Sure you might say..."But if I were with Edward i wouldnt' need sex, hes soooo dreammy." 

But I say... I haven't met a virgin girl since my senior year of highschool...everyone gets urges. 

BTW, I would take Blade if I had to choose something for girls and me myself and all the guys reading this even you would choose Kate Beckinsale in Underworld vampire over one like this cullen tool anyday right. The whole badass vampire gone semi-good but still badass is so much more of a turn-on than the whole sparkly fairyprincess look at me plot. 

In conclusion to this entirely too long rant... I basically cannot wait until this fad blows over and girls in evry country stop acting like stupid preadolescent fan girls with a boyband crush. (Reply back to me if you support my facts)

zuzu