Ok, I've finally experienced Insomnia.
I've had it before, but never, for this long a duration. A week.

I have to say ... it feels, Different. And I always liked change, so yeah... Insomnia isn't all that bad ... But after a week of no sleep, improper digestion, and no proper meals. It isn't all that satisfying.

I still can't pinpoint the reason for this insomnia, but according to Wikipedia, it can be caused by stress, depression, or fear.

Wikipedia Says: Insomnia is characterized by an inability to sleep and/or inability to remain asleep for a reasonable period

And, Insomnia isn't just about not getting any sleep. It's when you're so tired, you can't even lift yourself off your bed, but your mind won't let you turn it off.
It's when you sleep for like an hour, but that hour seems like a minute, and you lay in bed wondering
"Did I sleep, or did my mind just go blank for what seems like a minute?"

Insomnia gives meaning to the term "Sleeping Awake"
You're mind is half on this side, and half on the other. You never find out what's going on.

And the worst thing is, you lose track of time. You find yourself struggling to see what happened, what day it was, what the time is. And what happened.

It sucks, because me, I want to witness EVERYTHING that goes on. Don't want to miss a thing, ever. But insomnia changes all that.

This week has been one hell of a ride. I've gone to sleep more times than I've blinked, and I've slept less hours than the times I've seen a man being run over by a stampede.

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating. But it sure feels that way.

I knew my Bipolar Disorder and Manic Depression was going to lead to something big one day...

The protagonist in the nor' movie "Fight Club" starring Edward Norton (Jack) and Brad Pitt (Tyler Durden), where Jack is the protagonist, has the same type of insomnia. Here's what he thinks:

"Fight Club"

The character Edward Norton (a really good actor) plays in Fight Club, is of an Insomniac known as Jack throughout the movie.

Apparently (SPOILER WARNING) He get's this split personality disroder thingy due to the insomnia ... read on. This is what he thinks of insomnia:

With insomnia, nothing is real.
Everything is far away. Everything
is a copy of a copy of a copy.

*Scene Goes To Hospital*
[Intern] No, you can't die of insomnia.

[Jack] Maybe I died already. Look at my face.
[Intern] You need to lighten up.
[Jack] Can't you give me something?
[Intern] You need healthy, natural sleep. Chew valerian root and get some more exercise.

The Intern walks away from Jack.

[Jack] I'm in pain.
[Intern] You want to see pain? Swing by First Methodist Tuesday nights. See the guys with testicular cancer. That's pain.

So, edward goes to see the guys, and he feels emotionally touched, or watever, and suddenly, he can sleep again.
But then, suddenly things change (im not going into detail) and he loses sleep again.
He narrates :

When you have insomnia, you're never
really asleep and you're never really
awake. I hadn't slept in four days...

"You wake up in *names places* ... you gain an hour ... lose an hour ... this is your life, and it's ending, one minute at a time. If you wake up at a different time, at a different place ... can you wake up as a different person?"

That's when Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) comes into the movie. (SPOILER WARNING AGAIN) Apparently, the disorder causes Jack, to see a Tyler Durden, who is very much opposite of the real Jack. And in the end you get to find out. They're one and the same person.

Haven't seen Fight Club yet? Well, oops.

----------------------------------------

If not the same effect on, Insomnia has definitely changed me, somewhat. I finally go to school on time ... lol .. I don't sleep as much as I did (duh) ... and I've had another experience of life :)

So, it's not all that bad ...

But just be glad you get your sleep at nights. In some countries, when the army wants to torture a prisoner of war, they don't beat the shit out of them. They keep them awake, and don't let the sleep.

In under a week, the prisoner is spilling his beans like a broken bucket.

So when you go to bed, and are all ready to visit dreamland, be glad for yet another thing you're blessed with. A Good Night's Sleep.

- Danish989

It seems I've lost it. My touch.

My way of hating everything, and telling people about it. It seems, the last few posts were just a phase I was going through or something.

Or maybe I've run out of things to hate. Run out of things, I can talk bad about.

OR, I just can't think anymore. So here I am, sitting in front of the text editor. Thinking.

(10 Minutes Later)

I've lost it. I don't know what to rant about =\

Maybe, I can say good things for a change? Let's see ... good things ... good things ...
Naa, guess it's just not in me to say good things out of the blue like this ...

Oh well, if there's nothing to say, I'll just go out, and observe the world. I'll get back to this, when I've observed enough to say rant about it ...

* To Be Continued *

Okay, It's been like, a week since my last post? And a loooot has been happenin, and I've got a lot to say bad things about, but I think I'll just share my wisdom instead :p

I've been pondering on some facts and watching Prison Break has made me realise. Prison is a lot like School ... yes, where bad people are sent to learn good stuff ... I'm talking about prison there, not school.

Yes, so here are
Simalarities Between Prison And School

• You get a break, and the break actually has a longer duration in Prison.
• Don't get caught with an electronic device.
• Don't piss off the warden/principal. (not that it stops anyone, duh)
• You borrow lunch in school... In prison, it's just not called borrowing.
• Bullies.
• Uniform.
• Cafetaria.
• Paperwork involved, getting in at both places ...
• This makes it even more similar: http://www.shortnews.com/start.cfm?id=60869&newsid=7&sort=3&start=1&suche=teacher%20sex&nps=20&zeitraum=999&sparte=4&rubrikid1=69
• Oh, and in prison, you don't really get to learn anything much ... which doesn't make it all that different from school.

And America still wonders why so many people get killed in schools.

I've started a lot of posts, but somehow, there's always a writers block at the beginning of the post.

Because you never know how to start them. It's like a writer's block with a door.

And then, there's the question of what you're going to write about.

Boring news that no one reads? Boring rants about life that no one reads? Or, what happened the whole Boring day, that no one reads?

Option No. 2 Please.

Why would anyone want to write their thoughts, on the day that just passed? What's the use of recalling each and every moment that passed ... why would anyone want to recall a tragedy anyway? Okay, so people have fun sometime in the day too ... but most of the time, isn't it all the same old?

And what's the use? I've read in a research by some scientists somewhere ... writing down your every thought in a portable journal makes you smarter. In a year you'll have a greater level of IQ and bla bla ... but what's the use?

If you're smart enough to write a journal, you won't need the extra IQ. Okay, so having everything in a big amount seems tempting to a lot of people. But, seriously. Would you write a journal for a whole year, just so you you're smarter then your friends? Or so you can get good grades? Because IQ has nothing to do with good grades. And what's the use of being smarter than your friends? You're not going to steal their cattle from them when you get the chance, anyway.

Nothing in life comes easy, people say. That's another thing I just remember I would like to comment on.

Why? When all humans are created Equal. Yes, almost every popular religion says that. EVERYONE is created EQUAL.

BUT ... No One is Perfect.

Why aren't we? Why isn't anyone perfect? Why isn't EVERYONE perfect? Why doesn't everyone have Everything? Why do some people have, what they take for granted, and people that really need something, Don't have it.

Why can't everyone, have Everything?
Is it, because if everyone had everything, everything would be taken for granted by everyone?

Or is it, so, we just learn to struggle, one way or the other? Because as I said earlier. Life is actually a really big shop.

But why is it a really big shop? What's the purpose of living? What's the purpose of life? What is the need to go through all this?

Wouldn't it be a lot easier, if everyone could just get what they wanted ... we probably wouldn't have any wars or nuclear weapons that way ...

Because it's human nature to just want, what we don't have ... or will probably never get ... But we still like to try ... some give up fast ... while others are willing to die trying.

Why can't life be easy? What is the purpose of life?

We may never find out. But rest assured, as soon as I do, I'll be glad to tell you.

- Danish989